If you are taking your elder away from home for a doctor’s appointment or to a movie, dinner etc always take your elder’s medications with you.  You never know how long you may be gone and those really shouldn’t be taken late or skipped.  Just get a little pill container and put in the pills you may need for the day and drop them in the back pack or purse.  Men can carry them in their shirt pockets too!  My Dad used to carry his in his pocket (he used one like the one shoen above)  .  He would get up in the morning and Mom would place them in his shirt pocket.  Of course, she made sure he would wear a t-shirt or button down that has a breast pocket. 

Some people think that they can just take their medications when they return home even it fit late.  However; what happens is that now it is too close to the next dose.  So it is very important to keep to your elder’s schedule.  It can really throw off their blood glucose levels. Here is little video that I found about people who are skipping their drugs such as blood pressure medications.  Remember you need to take your pills as the doctor suggests.

It’s that time of year again when Houstonians prepare for hurricane season.  One area of hurricane preparedness that many people forget about is how to care for the elderly in the hurricane season.

Elderly are very uncertain of changes and last year during Ike many elderly were very confused during the power outages and the lack of services that were not available.

One way to help you with caring for your elder during a storm is to be prepared.

Here are some helpful hints for you to consider:

• Stock up on incontinent supplies such as adult diapers, baby wipes (you can use these for yourself too), gloves, and other personal care supplies.
• Have a month’s supply of your elder’s medications on hand.
• Be sure to have a lantern type light and batteries.  These lights provide more room lighting like they are used to having and they don’t have to carry them in their hands which may interfere with canes and walkers.
• Buy some Ensure or other type of dietary supplement.  These are great because they are non-perishable and provide a lot of vitamins which they may need due to the extra stress of the situation.
• Register your elder with the Houston-Harris County 211 Special Needs Transportation Registry.  Dial 211 on your phone to register your elder.  This service is designed so the Officials know about the special needs of your elder and can provide assistance if needed. 
• Locate businesses your elder may need during an emergency (such as dialysis treatment centers, oxygen supply companies, etc) and find out their emergency plan if they have no power to serve your elder.  You want to have a back up plan.
• Remember that power scooters and wheelchairs need power to operate so you may want to get a back up regular wheelchair for your elder.
• Don’t forget some form of entrainment such as cards or board games.  These are a great way to occupy your elder so they forget about the storm for a while.

Of course the items listed above are in addition to your regular hurricane supplies such as food, water, batteries, flashlights, battery operated radio or TV, cash, first aid kit, and other essential items that your family may need during a storm.

Today, I want to chat to you about your elder and the upcoming hurricane season.  Here in Texas we have a great resource available to our elders, it is called the 211 Special Needs Transportation Registry.  This registry is great for the elderly.  The registry is designed so that you can pre-register your elder with the State of Texas so that in the event of an emergency, such as a hurricane, the State can provide you with some help such as evacuation out of danger areas.  This is very important if you have an elder on a ventilator, dialysis, are non-ambulatory, Oxygen dependent, or are in a home hospice situation.

During our past hurricane, IKE, some parts of the Houston area were out of power for 2 to 3 weeks. It was hard for the City and County to help the elderly because they didn’t know where they were.  Can you imagine not being able to provide the basic necessities for your elder?  I am sure that if my Dad had still been alive during IKE, he would not have made it with out any electricity for 2 weeks.  He was on an oxygen concentrator, feeding pump, and needed breathing treatments to name a few of his electrical uses.

211 Special Needs Transportation Registry

Explanation of Medical Special Needs Levels 

If you live in the hurricane evacuation zone, you don’t have a ride and you have a disability or special health care need, it is very important for you to dial 2-1-1 now to register for a ride. 

 Level 1

People who rely on or need others to provide their daily, routine care such as a child under 18 without adult supervision, etc.

 Level 2

People who are blind, hearing impaired, deaf/blind, or have an amputation.

 Level 3

People who need medical assistance including nursing care and help taking medicine.  People who are dependent on equipment or those having mental health disorders.

 Level 4

People who are not in a hospital, a long-term care/assisted living facility or state school but require important medical assistance (i.e., IV chemotherapy, ventilator, dialysis, life support equipment, including needing a hospital bed, total care, or who are morbidly obese).

 Level 5

People in settings such as a hospital, long-term care/assisted living facility, or a state school. 

People in the Level 5 category do not need to dial 2-1-1.  The nursing home and/or assisted living facility will provide rides for their patients

I am currently reading a book called T for Trespass by  Sue Grafton.  In this Kinsey Millhone mystery,  Kinsey is the neighbor of an 89 year old elderly gentleman named Gus.  Gus is an active elderly man who fell and hurt his shoulder.  He goes to the hospital and is in need of private home care since he lives alone and has no immediate family.  In the story a very bad woman becomes his private duty nurse and proceeds to steal him blind as well as drug him so he is in a semi-unconscious state. 

This story reminds me that the elderly need to be especially careful with their checkbooks and savings account passbooks.  Even though you hire a person to take care of your elder and you  trust them to provide great care, you must always be careful with others in your elder’s home.  In the story, the nurse also alienates Gus from all his friends.  This is a huge warning sign for anyone caring for your elder.  Remember you are hiring them they are not just free to take over your home.  Set boundaries and stick to them.

I highly recommend T for Trespass it is a wonderful book for anyone who is responsible for caring for their elder.  I haven’t finished the book yet; it is also very hard for me to read since I really hate to hear about elder abuse. 

Turn your elder’s water heater down.  This will prevent scalding themselves with hot water if they only turn the water to the hot position or forget to turn on the cold water (if you have a double handle faucet).  My Dad only knew one way to turn on the water and that was full blast.  So it is a good idea to keep your elder safe is to keep it cool.

When I was younger I had a good friend who was adopted. She was very happy with her adoptive family and never really cared to find her blood parents. When she was in her late teens she developed a rare blood disorder that doctors didn’t know how to treat.

A specialist asked my friend what she knew of her family history. He said that if he knew more about her family history, he may be able to find a treatment. Alas, it was too late. My friend died before she could trace her blood parents. Now I always tell people that their family medical history is of the greatest importance. It could save their lives one day!

When our parents grow older, it’s common for children to have to play a more active role in their care.  It can be frightening and sad when adults put their parents in a retirement home, and thus family caregivers are quite common.  When caring for your elderly parents, it’s good to allow them a sense of independence (as much as can be allowed given their health).  This means installing railings, appliances, and furniture that are accessible for your parents.  When the elderly can take care of themselves, just like all people, they feel more fulfilled and more active.  Having others do everything for you can become tedious.

It’s also a good idea to take an active role in your elder’s care; know their diet, know their ailments and how to act in an emergency if necessary, and above all, let them know that you care about them.  These are the secrets to success when it comes to elder care.

Check your sink and shower handles for ease of use for elders.  Dad had a very hard time turning the faucet handles and would often leave the faucet running because the handles were too hard for him to turn.  The best types of handles are the one handed levers that control the temperature and water flow with one easy movement.   Jerry’s Granny had a hard time too with the round handles on the sinks.  Granny has arthritis real bad and she just would wait for someone to come over and then she would fill up a basin in the sink so she would have hand washing water.  The best types of handles are the one handed levers that control the temperature and water flow with one easy movement that way your elder can use the faucet easily and they can adjust the water as needed.

Here is an article that I thought would be of interest to you from the Wall Street Journal

Have a wonderful New Years! Mary

How to Fund Retirement Living                              

By VICTORIA E. KNIGHT

Older Americans who banked on selling their homes to finance care in assisted-living facilities and retirement communities have seen their dreams go up in smoke amid the housing-market bust. At the same time, their investment portfolios have nose-dived.

In these rough economic times, funding long-term care poses a challenge for seniors and their families. There are a range of strategies you can pursue.

For people without long-term care insurance, which is the majority, the financial hit can be hard if care is needed. The average cost of a private room at a nursing home runs $76,500 per person annually, while a one-year stay in a one-bedroom unit in an assisted living facility costs $36,000 and periodic care from a home health assistant at $18,000 or more per year doesn't come cheap.

While there are no easy answers, shopping around, switching the care setting, pooling family finances and looking at loan options can be conduits to affordable care.

Many independent-living and assisted-living facilities, in particular newer facilities or those that embarked on ambitious expansion plans when the economy was riding high, are offering specials to boost flagging occupancy rates.

"Many facilities are offering to defer rent until seniors can sell their homes or are offering lower introductory rates for the first six months" as sweeteners, says John Temple, chief operating officer at A Place for Mom Inc., a national senior-housing referral service. (The service is provided free to consumers. A Place for Mom is compensated by the facilities when a senior is placed.)

Many facilities will waive the "community fee," a deposit typically equivalent to one-month's rent, for those who ask. The best deals to be had are often at smaller residential homes because they need to fill vacancies quickly and have more latitude to cut individual deals, according to Mr. Temple.

Continuing-care retirement communities, which offer more health services as seniors age, typically require entrance fees of hundreds of thousands of dollars, plus monthly fees.

Cheryl J. Sherrard, a certified financial planner at Rinehart & Associates in Charlotte, says switching to a smaller apartment can be a money-saving strategy for older Americans who've set their hearts on moving into a specific retirement community.

"I've seen communities allow couples to move in with a percentage of the entry fee due initially, but a delay on the remainder being due for a period of six months after move-in," giving seniors wiggle room to complete the sale of a house, she says.

"Retirement communities backed by nonprofit religious organizations can be a more-affordable option," says Karen Schaeffer, president of Schaeffer Financial in Rockville, Md. (These communities welcome people of all beliefs.)

Mr. Temple recommends asking independent and assisted-living facilities about "non-premium rooms" that can be real bargains, but generally aren't advertised. Longer walks to the dining room and less desirable layouts or views account for the cheaper rates. Having a roommate might not be everyone's cup of tea, but "companion rates" can shave $1,000 a month off rent for single seniors who are willing to share, he says.

Widening your geographic search even by just a few miles can produce more budget-friendly options, says Karen Altfest, vice president of L.J. Altfest & Co. Inc., a fee-only financial-planning firm in Manhattan.

Family members can pitch in toward the cost of care in a variety of ways. For instance, individuals can make gifts of up to $12,000 per person per year without paying a federal gift tax. That exclusion amount will increase to $13,000 in 2009.

Another option is an intrafamily loan. This could provide a mechanism for adult children to lend money to cash-strapped parents who need funds now to pay for care until they can sell their homes.

A reverse mortgage is another option. Reverse mortgages enable homeowners age 62 or older, who own their home outright or have a small mortgage balance to convert home equity into cash without selling the house. The Home Equity Conversion Mortgage, or HECM, insured by the Federal Housing Administration and backed by the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development, or HUD, is the most popular kind. Lending institutions also offer their own proprietary products.

The amount you can borrow will depend on your age, how much your home is worth and current interest rates. For a HECM the limit is $417,000, but proprietary products may allow you to borrow more.

Payments can be taken as a lump sum, in regular installments or as needed, or through a combination of these options. The accrued principal and interest comes due when the last borrower dies, sells the home or moves out permanently.

A big drawback of a reverse mortgage is the high fees, which closely mirror the closing costs on a regular mortgage.

For this reason, says Sue Hunt, a housing counseling programs manager for Consumer Credit Counseling Service of Greater Atlanta, reverse mortgages tend to make the most sense for people who want to spend the rest of their lives in their homes and whose total income, including the loan, will be sufficient to cover all their future expenses, she says.

With any type of loan, it's important to ensure you understand the fees, interest rates and repayment terms.

For instance, an important safety feature of an HECM is that your payments from the lender are guaranteed by the federal government. Plus, if your home is sold for an amount lower than the value of the loan, neither you nor your heirs will be liable for the balance, which isn't always the case with proprietary products.

Shopping for elderly home care products you need to take care of them can literally break your bank You want to get the most bang for your buck My favorite place is to shop at a wholesale store (Sam's Club, Costco, BJ's etc) for your elder's needs as much as possible. The discount stores are the way to go. If you just look at gloves and diapers for instance. Two boxes (50 pairs) of gloves cost about $10 at the wholesale store and one box (50 pairs) at a drug store runs about $13. You get twice as much for $3 less. Same with diapers, toilet paper, diabetic or non-diabetic drinks such as Ensure®. You definitely get back your yearly fee in just one trip.

Another great place to shop is on-line. You have to search the web to find the best deals, but it can be well worth your time, especially for medically related products. I shop at the local medical supply store, but their prices are very high, but if you need something now, you just have to suck it up and shop there. One issue with the on-line shopping is sometimes you have to buy in bulk and unless you have a place to store the products or if your elder is not going to use up the products, you may want to look locally.

The lack of feeling in the feet is called diabetic neuropathy. Another issue that diabetic can encounter is peripheral vascular disease (PVD). PVD occurs because you don't have enough blood flow to the legs and feet. A major cause of PVD is smoking. Smoking makes blood flow problems much worse. The carbon monoxide from the smoke damages a layer of cells that coats the lining of blood vessels allowing the plaque to stick to the walls of the vessels. This in turn doesn't allow proper blood circulation to the legs and feet. For example if your elder is walking around barefooted and they step on a splinter of wood, they may not feel that there is a splinter in the foot and it become infected. The elevated sugar level in their blood feeds the infection causing it to get worse and could get into the blood stream. We don't want that to happen, so keep those tootsies covered and protected.

Last year my husband's cousin's son, Luke, died from the flu. He was a very active 12 year old boy who played all the sports. He was playing the last game of the year for his school's basketball team and fell over on the court. He was rushed to a local hospital and later taken by helicopter to a large children's hospital a few hours away. He died the next day. Oh, was that a tough funeral to attend. The tears let me tell you, not a dry eye in the large church. The family thought that he must have had a heart defect or some such because he died so suddenly, but the autopsy showed that he died from complications from the flu. It turns out he was "just getting over the flu" when he played the basketball game that day. What a tragedy.

Anyway, get your elder their flu shot. It is a low cost (free if you have Medicare) prevention that can make a huge difference in your elder's health. I know many of you think that you get the flu from the flu shot. Studies have shown that that is not true. The shot contains dead flu virus from the last season. It may not totally keep a person from getting the flu, but if you get the flu, it is usually a milder case.

I have had the flu once before and I thought I was going to die. I never felt so bad. I was living alone with just my 2 cats and I stayed on the couch for a week. There wasn't anyone to help me or give me any sympathy (which when you are sick is a very important thing), it was just me and the cats. Every year since, I have gotten the flu shot and I have never had the flu again. YEA!!!

Seriously, protect your elder from the flu.

Palliative care is a medical specialty that focuses on pain relief and other symptoms of an illness. The goal of palliative care is to ease suffering and to offer the best quality of life for the ill person. This type of care is not dependent on an end of life period of time, but can be given for any serious illness. Hospice care involves palliative care, but you do not have to have your elder on hospice to get palliative care. The palliative care team also helps the family of the patient make medical decisions and choose treatments that are in line with the family's goals. This care can be discontinued when the person's symptoms lessen.

Both hospice and palliative care can be covered by insurance plans, Medicare, and Medicaid. As always check before you admit your elder, just so you don't get any financial surprises.

If your elderly parent fell and broke their hip (God Forbid), their doctor may place them in a LTC for a period of a few weeks so that they can get physical therapy and restore the use of their hip.

Long term care facilities can be paid by Medicare and Medicaid depending on the reason for the admission. If the admission is considered a medical necessity, most likely it will be covered (broken hip, stroke recovery, etc.). Check with the facility before you admit you elder for their payment requirements. Also, you need to check for the length of stay. My Mom was in a LTC for 4 months, well Medicare only pays for 90 days, and then we had to self pay for the remainder of her stay (30 days at $190/day). It can become quite costly. Again, as with any type of care facility DO YOUR HOMEWORK before you admit your parent.

Nursing homes or skilled nursing facilities are one of the last places most children want to put their elderly parents, but sometimes that is the only option that is available to you.  Nursing homes are for elderly people who have physical limitations, for younger people who have severe disabilities, or for people who were recently injured.  These people need a tremendous amount of constant personal care.  Nursing homes are required to have a licensed RN (nurse) on duty 24 hours a day.  There are also many staff members who assist in caring for your elder.  Many nursing homes do not have an adequate staffing to take great care of your elder.  In our area of the country, there tends to be a shortage of Certified Nursing Assistants in the nursing homes and you can typically find 1 staff member to a wing of the unit and be caring for as many as 20 people on their shift.  That’s a lot of diaper changes in one shift for one person.

I know that nursing homes can be a good thing for people, but I am very, very cautious about them.  My Dad had to be in one for a short time while he received some IV antibiotics.  I paid 3 people to stay with him 24/7 during his 4 day stay because of my impressions of nursing homes.  I wasn’t all wrong about my impressions.  The man in the bed next to my Dad was 93 years old and he was still walking, but needed help getting to the bathroom.  They came to get him maybe once in 12 hours and then would leave him on the pot for 1 hour.  Not kidding!!!

You have to be extremely vigilant if your elder is in a nursing home.  My friend had her Mom in a nursing home for 8 years and had great luck with that home.  She did visit her Mom almost EVERY day (except when she was out of town for business) and did a head to toe look over her body at every visit and paid close attention to her care.  Remember there are excellent nursing homes, you just have to find them in your area.

Nursing homes can be paid by Medicaid or by private pay.  DO YOUR HOMEWORK if you are looking to place your parent in a nursing home for an extended period of time or even for a short time.  There are many, many rules and regulations that must be followed to have your elder’s care paid for by Medicaid.

Well, Dad's rash still was there and wouldn't go away, finally the doctor told us that it was the fabric softener sheets. She said to change to a liquid fabric softener that you put in the washer and use one that is perfume free and dye free. The is only one on the market, Downy in the white bottle. It is a bit hard to find, but we found that if we use a hypoallergenic laundry soap, such as Dreft® it helps to reduce the risk of rashes and use the liquid fabric softener, his delicate elderly skin will be soft and beautiful. So my hint for the day is to wash all your elder's clothing, bedding and any other item that touches their skin in a hypoallergenic laundry soap and use a liquid fabric softener.

Since our elderly parent had a bit of dementia and tended to wander around the home, our solution was to get a wind chime and put it on the door, so when the door opens the chime ring. This is an inexpensive way to have an audible signal that someone is leaving or arriving. There are many other ways of monitoring your elder's whereabouts, but an alarm system is very expensive. A wind chime is just a few bucks. The wind chime also acted as a door alarm when Dad was bedridden and our staff would be back in the bedroom with him and one of us would come in, they would know that there was someone there and not be surprised. Remember, in Asia, windchimes are considered good luck and a part of Feng Shui!

Dry skin is the biggest culprit when it comes to skin problems for the elderly. As people age, the skin becomes thinner, and can't retain the same level of moisture, which often leads to dry, flaky skin. Thin, dry skin is also more susceptible to tearing, and easily lets bacteria in, which can lead to infection.

The most important thing is to keep skin clean - but not to overdo it. Hot water and too frequent showering will actually dry the skin out worse. Warm water and bathing every other day is the recommended method for the elderly. The elderly should also avoid bubbly soaps and shower gels, which generally contain harsh detergents, and stick to cream-based cleansers. And finally, keep the skin hydrated by moisturizing with a cream lotion after every shower.

One night, for example, my sister, Anna, was taking care of Mom and Dad by herself. She heard Mom cry out at about 2 am and knew that she needed her adult diaper changed. In the middle of getting the diaper off her, Dad got up from his bed and had poo going all down the backside of his jammies. Both had a very bad case of diarrhea. Anna found out we were out of gloves and she had go get both of them clean up with no gloves. Oh, what a mess, and to have all that poo all over your hands, arms, legs etc. ICK!!! We always kept a good supply of gloves in the house after that incident.

The elderly are especially vulnerable to changes of any kind, but the changes with this new post hurricane situation have many elderly in a tail spin.  Many people just do not understand why they have no phone service or electricity.  Gas and groceries has also been a challenge for the elderly.  Many elderly can't wait in line for 2 hours for gas and many grocery stores aren't stocking the offbeat items the elderly need.

Try to make your elder feel safer and more secure in the post hurricane times by:

• Listening to their complaints. I know you have to explain over and over again what is going on, but remember they are really confused at this time, don't make it harder on them by fussing at them because you are frustrated too.
• Keep your elder hydrated. This is especially important if you don't have air conditioning or power.
• Keep the same schedule if you can. Elders like order and consistency. Try to keep things as "normal" as possible.
• Get your elder involved in the "clean up." Now, I don't mean to work them to death, but give them something to do that they can do without too much physical exertion and make them feel useful.
• Keep them clean. Without air conditioning you elder will be more vulnerable to developing skin conditions such as rashes. A quick fix that helps with keeping the skin dry to apply a thin coat of baby powder. The talc will help absorb the excess moisture.

I hope all of you will get power back on soon and keep your elder healthy!

In 1970, a West Virginia housewife, Marian Lucille Herndon McQuade, the mother of 15 children, 40 grandchildren, and eight great grandchildren, initiated a campaign to set aside a special day just for Grandparents so that we can honor our grandparents, can give our grandparents the opportunity to show their love for their grand children, and for the grandchildren to become aware of the value that their grandparents can provide with their skills and knowledge.   In 1978, the United States Congress passed legislation proclaiming the first Sunday after Labor Day as National Grandparents Day. The legislation was signed by President Jimmy Carter. The month of September was chosen for the holiday, to signify the "autumn years" of life. 

September 7, 2008 is National Grandparents Day.  Take the time to celebrate with your family and honor your elders.  I never had a chance to be with my grandmothers because they were deceased when I was born.  I didn’t have an opportunity to learn and grow from them.  Only one of my grandfathers was alive when I was born and he lived in another part of the country from us and I only remember him speaking Polish.   

I, however; have adopted my husband’s grandmother, we call her Granny.  Interestingly, my mom and his grandmother are the same age, but I never thought of Granny like a mom, always a grandmother.  Granny has so much wisdom to bestow and has so much to share with the entire family. It’s hard to see Granny age.  It seems like just the other day when I met her.  Granny’s oldest son, was burned in a fire at home and was in the local burn unit.  My husband I went every day to see Granny during our lunch hour. 

At that time, I had no idea she would become my Granny, but we formed a life-long bond. Granny and I have become close over the past 11 years since I met her.  She has been through the death of her son, the law suits over her son’s estate, the deaths of all her brothers and sisters, and her own failing health issues.  She is still corner stone of the family. 

Sorry, I have rambled, but my point is taking the time on Sunday, September 7, 2008 and show your love to your grandparents or and your children’s grandparents.  You don’t have to spend any money on them, if you don’t want to, but at least pick up the phone and give them a call and tell them you love them!

Thu 7/17/2008 8:10 AM

Good Morning All,

Anna had her cardiac catherization yesterday and all went well.  The doctor did not have to put in any stents and she is clean as a whistle.  It turns out that the artery in question (I can't remember which one it is, but it is on the left side) has a place that is narrow.  It is due to the way God made her.  It really isn't a "defect" but as the doctor said, just the way she is. 

The doc said that he will just have to watch her so that that spot doesn't collect plaque etc by keeping her bad cholesterol down and her good cholesterol up and keeping her blood pressure normal.

There isn't anything else wrong with her heart. YEA!

So that was great news.  She had to stay at the hospital for about 3 hours after the quick (30 minute cath) and we were headed home by 2pm. 

Oh, and I have to tell you that I had to feed her lunch because she couldn't sit up at all for a few hours.  The nurse tilted her bed so she wouldn't choke but she had to keep her head flat on the pillow.

She ordered a Lobster salad.  I joked with her that she was just like Aunt Jay ordering Lobster! and of course I was well trained at feeding someone who can't feed themselves in bed (that would be Mom and Dad).  Now Dad would close his eyes and open his mouth like a little baby bird waiting for Momma bird to feed her.  We joked about this while I was feeding her.

She is doing well.  Thanks again for all the prayers and we can stop worrying about her.

I am still working on getting the funeral pictures posted for you to see.  I will let you know when they are up.

Love and hugs to all,

Mary

Thu 7/3/2008 12:38 PM

Hi to all,

Just wanted to  let you know that Ed passed away this morning. We got a call from the staff folks who have been taking such great care of him that his blood pressure had dropped rapidly. He died shortly thereafter.

We all want to thank each and every one of you for your prayers, thoughts, encouragement and kindness that you all extended to us over the years that we have been providing the Ed and El Updates. You have no idea how much this has helped us.

We will be sending details concerning services as they develop.

Thanks to all,  The Dombrowski sibs

Thu 7/3/2008 7:45 AM

Today Dad is about the same.  Yesterday, we got in touch with a hospice and they are coming today to do an evaluation and hopefully we can get him home this evening.

Last evening his blood pressure was very low 70/30 and his oxygen stats were bad 89%.  This morning the BP was up 79/42 (don't know the O2).  Sara said his urine was also decreased, I think that maybe a blood clot is blocking the catheter, that has happened many times in the past and we freaked out because we thought that his kidneys were shutting down.  I will see today and get the nursing staff to flush it if the stream hasn't gotten back to a more regular amount. 

Sara also said that he had huge poops last night (most likely because of the antibiotics) and was moaning and groaning.  They gave him some xanex (sp?), but not any real pain meds.  I can't wait for the hospice so we can get his pain in control.

I think this was about all that I know for today.

Love and hugs,

Mary et.al.

Tue 7/1/2008 10:48 AM

Hey I just got off the phone with the doctor.  She was very concerned about Dad and wanted to know how aggressively we wanted to treat him.  His sodium level is way up again 158 (normals 135-145mEq/L).  She also said that his PSA (prostate enzyme) is 115 indicating that he has prostate cancer (In most laboratories, a value of less than 4 ng/ml is normal. A value between 4 and 10 is borderline, and over 10 is high - from the net)

Her wording was that he is full of cancer with readings that high.  This probably accounts for the hard time they had inserting the catheter. In 1990 dad had a TURP and if the MD didn't get all of the prostate regrows ( Need for re-treatment. Later treatment after TURP is uncommon and significantly less likely, compared with minimally invasive treatments. Some men may need a second surgery after a number of years. A few men require re-treatment because their prostate gland regrows or because not enough of it is removed the first time. - May Clinic website)

I told her we are basically trying to make him comfortable and are not going to aggressively treat any of his issues especially since the pacemaker is dying.

In addition, his heart enzymes were elevated indicating that he has had another small heart attack.

She also said that his heart is only 25% functioning according to an echo that they did the last time he was admitted. 

She indicated that it may be time for hospice care.  I am pretty sure that I agree with her.  I really don't know how much longer he can live the way he is living and I don't know how much more we can put him through until the pacemaker dies.  By treating him aggressively we may get him a few weeks longer.

So this is the most current info.

She said that she would talk to me tomorrow.

Love and hug,

Mary

Thu 6/12/2008 8:14 AM

Just what Dad used to say

For the Journal-Constitution
Published on: 06/12/08

Sunday is Father's Day, and we've got something to get you in the mood. Here are some dads, and some of their "Dad-isms" -- the words of wisdom, the favorite sayings or warnings their children have never forgotten.

Edmund Dombrowski

My dad always had a keen sense of humor and could spout off many Dad-isms.

His No. 1 favorite was at dinnertime. After we said grace he would always say, "Who eats the fastest gets the mostest."

Some other ones he used quite a bit:

"If you want to fight ... join the army."

"You're not saving when you are spending."

"To lose weight, keep your mouth shut."

Joan D. Cronin, Snellville

Other ones we thought about after this got published:

"It will get better before you get married"

"I'm Big Ed on overhead"

"Unc the Skunk"

"Why -Z"

"What nature has fogotten you can stuff with cotton" (When the girls were growing up and didn't have boobs yet)

Wed 5/28/2008 7:26 AM

Good Morning,

I hope everyone had a great Memorial Day!  Things here are fine.  Not much news to talk about.  Dad is the same.  He really doen't look good at all and is hanging in there.  He is very thin and doen't really talk too much.  He just shouts when you do something he doesn't like. 

We are having a bit of trouble with diaper rash on his bottom and are trying a bunch of different things so he isn't as comfortable as he could be.  These rashes just pop up and they are somewhat hard to make go away.

Jerry and I have been traveling around alot this month.  We went to a class up in NJ and saw our cousins Tony and Judy, then we went to Tom's and also saw Cousin Donna her daughter Tammy and their family.  It was so nice to see everyone and it was nice to revisit the old country. 

Jerry's and my daughter, Emily is getting married in a few weeks and that is keeping us a little busy.  Thank God her mom has to deal more with her.  We have heard that she is a Bridezilla!  I thought about taking Dad to the wedding, but really don't see how he could go.  It is about a 45 min drive to the wedding site and back and he just can't really sit in the wheelchair for that long anymore.  If you keep him longer than 2 hours, he really starts to shout that he wants back in the bed.  We will take pictures and show him the wedding.  At this point I'm not sure he even knows who she is anymore.

One other thing is that I am sure that I told you that Dad's pacemaker leads are shorting out causing the battery to drain faster than is supposed to.  The doctors say he wouldn't make it through the surgery so we are not doing anything about it.  Anyway, I have our nurses checking his vital signs daily and his pulse is starting to slow down.  It was running about 70 and has slowed to the low 60's.  This is an indication that the battery is weaker.  Just wanted to let everyone know that it is slowing and we aren't sure how much the pacemaker is providing and how much his heart is doing on his own.  Only time will tell.

Hope all is good with all of you. 

Love and hugs to all of you,

Mary et. al.

**

Mon 4/7/2008 8:20 AM

Just a quick note to let everyone know that Dad came home on Friday.  He is ok.  Not great, but ok.

Will keep you posted.

Mary

Mon 3/31/2008 8:00 AM

Just a quick update for today.  Dad was a bit better yesterday.  In the morning he didn't look too good, but in the afternoon he picked up a bit.  He was awake and had some color to him. 

We saw a the kidney specialist on Sat and he said that Dad's sodium level was very high 156 and it should be 132-146.  So he needed to give him fluids to get that level down.  He also said that he had a urinary track infection.  He also talked to us about Dad getting the pacemaker replaced and he said that was not a good idea and that Dad wouldn't do well with the surgery at all.

The nurse on Sat also said that the lab results showed that Dad did have a heart attack, but we have not spoken to the Cardiologist.

Currently, the game is for them to give him lots of fluids and to balance it with diuretics. He was very dehydrated. They apparently also identified the urinary tract bug and put him on a third IV antibiotic yesterday. Sara called yesterday evening and said the sore on his butt looks worse since he's been in the hospital. She was going to show the nurse.

Will let you know what goes on.

Mary

Thu 3/27/2008 12:12 PM

Hi,  I feel comfortable with doing nothing. I was definitely leaning against it when I wrote my first e-mail, but hearing about the bed sore etc I am defiantly in favor of letting nature take its coarse.

Love to all, Tom

Thu 3/27/2008 9:20 AM

I guess you can't really ask him and get his opinion. In a way, I think we should let him go. He does have the living will and didn't really want to be kept alive with extra means. We did do the feeding tube, but...

Hey, I will agree to the first two, but not the major surgery.

Love,JO

Hi ya'll.

Wow, that is sobering news.  I will be available to talk anytime so just give me a call.

My first reaction is 100% against doing the full replacement. I don't see that getting him 5 more years is worth the risk of surgery.

About 15 minutes before I opened the e-mail from Mary I was watching the news and they were doing a story on Iraqi war vets who had injuries that would require 100% 24/7/365 skilled nursing care and I told wife-Mary that if I were ever in that situation from a car wreck, bike mishap, etc, that she should not let me live like that (I am telling you, my sisters, that too- save this e-mail). If it come to a decision to pull the plug or let me live like that, then pull the plug.

I guess this means that I would be infavor of not doing surgery and putting it in God's hands.  However, if you all did not agree with that I can CERTAINLY understand that and would support you 100%.

I think that we should give Aunt Rita's views a lot of weight, but I don't think that we should burden her with the responsibiity of making the decision for us.

She is the only one of us who knows what it is like to be of that age and her perspective is unique.

From the e-mail that Mary sent I am only 99% clear on what Aunt Rita is saying, not 100% clear. My interpretation is that Aunt Rita is saying that we should not have intervined 2 years ago when he got the new pacemaker.  If that is not a correct interpretation please correct me.  Either way, I think that we should give her advise a lot of weight in the decision making process.

I know this is not easy and please feel free to call anytime.  Love to all,  Tom

Well, my gut reaction would  be to let it go, but would we feel like we killed him? We would all  have to agree feel and comfortable to do this one. He really doesn't have much quality of life.

My other choice would be to do the number 2 one since it is less invasive than the entire surgery.

I really don't think he needs the whole thing replaced - for I don't think he will last that long for it to be worthwhile.

So, that's my 2 cents for now.

Love, JO

Wed 3/5/2008 9:51 AM

All is good here in Texas.  Dad is fine. He doesn't want to open his much now.  He is awake and listening to you, but has the peepers closed.

Tom came into town last week and it was good to see him.  He was in town for a meeting for a few days.  We got him over to the house to see Dad a few times.  Dad didn't really open his eyes much when he was here, but one time, the first day, Dad to a swing at Tom's head, Tom ducked, and Dad had a smile on his face.  So he knew what was going on, just playing opossum.

Anna and I were in the ER on Monday.  Anna tripped and fell on the cement walkway going to her house.  She fell and cut her skin about the right eye and she fractured one of her arm bones.  She got 7 stitches above her eyebrow and a cast that goes up past her elbow and down to her fingers.  She has to go see the othro specialist in a few days.  The ER nurse said to wait until the swelling goes down before you go to that doctor. 

The ER doctor that saw Anna and I asked "Where is your father?  I saw Dombrowski on the list."  We said he was home and were here for Anna.  Dr. Steve was absolutely amazed that Dad was still alive and that he had not been in the hospital since Oct.  It's pretty bad when the ER doctor knows your name and your daughters faces.  He stitched Anna up pretty quick.  It only took about 2 hours since were were in the "fast track" or Owey line (where all the kids who hurt themselves go).

Fred is working out real well.  I have now got him trained to watch I Love Lucy at 4 so we are off the soccer channel.  He loves Lucy now.  He is from Sierra Leonne, Africa and never saw Lucy before.  He even asked me if it was a new show!!!  Gotta Love it!

Well, I must be going.  Just wanted y'all to know that things are good here.  I think that Dad has lost a few pounds, but we can't weigh him at home, so we have no way of knowing.  Tom hadn't seen him since the Summer and he said he looked like he lost some weight.  I am guessing around 105 to 100lbs.  He looks so bad with out any clothes on.

Oh, I forgot to tell you, we did have to take him in Mid February to a GI doctor because he needed to have his G-tube replaced.  The tube wouldn't hold in the adaptor to the feeding tube bag.  It was a quick in and out proceedure (5-10 min).  We had to go to the hospital and it was done in the Day Surgery waiting room.  He had to fast also.  I hated that part.  Not that doesn't need every single calorie.

So, all is good!

Love and hugs to y'all.

Mary et al.

HO, HO, HO, to everyone,

All is good here in Houston.  Dad is ok.  He hasn't been in the hospital for some time now.  Knock on wood and he seems to be ok.  Joan is on her way here today to visit for the holidays and will go back home on New Year's Eve. 

We all had a wonderful time at Andy and Quinn's wedding on Martha's Vineyard last weekend.  We had some trouble getting there from the Boston Airport because of the snow (roughly 6.5 hours to drive 70 miles) and missed our boat reservation. But we got there and had a blast.  The ceremony was beautiful and like none I have ever attended.   It was not your traditional wedding, but who would expect traditional from Andy. 

Kelley, our friend, took care of Dad and our pets while we were gone and she didn't have any issues.  All (mostly) behaved themselves.  Dad really liked petting on her dog, Jackie.

I haven't sent out any Christmas cards, I haven't had the time yet, so don't think that I am ignoring you, just been a bit busy.

Love and hugs to all and I hope all you have a wonderful Christmas and a fantastic New Year.

Mary et al

Fri 10/26/2007 11:48 AM

So, It's Friday, and Dad is back in the hospital.  We took him in last evening.  His doctor did some lab work last week (was done from the home health service) and the results were not too good.  All the lab work was abnormal.  His sodium was high, his potassium was low.  He has another infection in his urine, pseudomonas again.  That is what he had last month.  And of course, the only antibiotics that works on this bug is an IV antibiotic.  So Dr.D. told us to bring him into the ER.  Sara called me a few minutes before the doctor, and she said he wasn't looking too good.

I got him to the local ER about 5pm and Anna showed up a few minutes later.  They got an IV started and gave him a 1000ml of sodium chloride (which I don't really understand since his sodium was high, but again, I am not a doctor) and then started the antibiotics.  I can't remember the name of it, because it was a different one than he had been on before.  It took them up until 10:15 pm to get a room for him.  Not sure why, it took so long this time.  The ER was slow, so I guess they didn't need to bug the admit dept to get them upstairs, so they could free up the rooms in the ER.  Who knows.  But the nurse got him checked in pretty quick and we were home at about 11:30pm.

I called to check on him just a little while ago and Liz said that he was ok and looking a bit better.  Gosh these infections just make havoc with him.  At least this time his blood pressure is up and we don't have to give any drugs for that and he isn't in the ICU this time, just a regular room.

Hope all is well with all of you.  Will keep you posted.  Anna and I will be up at the hospital this weekend and my guess is that he will be there for a few days at the minimum.

Have a great weekend.

Love and hugs,  Mary

Wed 9/12/2007 9:20 AM

Just a quick update.  Dad is holding steady.  He is still on the dopamine and his blood pressure has perked up some, but still is sometimes very bad.  The nurse told me yesterday that sometimes at night his lower number gets into the low 20's!  Very scary!  Last night it was 94/40 as an average when I was there.   It would go up and down.  They have him so it check his BP every 15 min.

But he was feeling a little better because he took a swing at the nurse yesterday.  She and Sara were adjusting his position and low and behold he swung at the nurse.  Suprised her.  Then she told him that she  was going to tell his daughter that he tried to hit her and he laughed.

Anna was there late last night and the TV was off so she turned it on and as far as she could tell he was asleep.  So she was changing channels and she passed by a baseball game. When she changed the channel he made an angry grunting noise at her.  So she turned it back to the game and he opened his eyes and looked at the game and closed his eyes and was happy.  So she got to watch the Detroit game for an hour.

I just spoke with the nurse and she said the cardiologist was just there and they are going to try to discontinue the dopamine and see what happens today.

Will keep you posted.

Love and hugs from Texas.

Mary

Wed 8/22/2007 8:00 AM

Hey Everyone,  Dad is back home!!  YEA!  He got home on Friday the 17th.  We had to send him to a nursing home for 4 days to complete a round of IV antibiotics.  I was so glad to get him home.  I just didn't want them to suck up his Medicare and keep him the 20 days that Medicare will pay for.

The place was ok, but I didn't like it.  What bothered me the most was the lack of bed rails on the beds.  Their theory was that you lowered the bed to the lowest position and then if they fell, it wasn't too far to fall.  They insisted this was ok and said they would put pads on the floor so it would be a cushioned fall.  Well, of course, there never were any cushions.  But we had our nurses there so they watched him like a hawk and he never fell.  They also put some bolsters beside him.  If he was in this normal mode, they would not have worked.

And of course, the staff were very busy.  The man in the bed next to Dad was a very nice 91 year old who could still walk with a walker, but he needed alot of assistance.  My staff said they would only come once in their 12 hour shift to take him to the bathroom.  It was awful.  I am so glad we have our little nursing home set up at Anna's.

Dad did end up having the MRSA.  They put him on very strong antibiotics and it did the trick.  His face swelling went down within 12 or so hours of the antibiotic administration.  The shingles also appear to have healed up and are gone.

Dr. D had us put a humidifier in his room by the bed to add a little moisture to the room to help keep his mouth moist and to keep using the mouth moisturizers multiple times during the day.

I will let you know of any new happenings.

Love and hugs to all of you.

Mary

Mon 7/23/2007 9:02 AM

Hey All,

More news on the Texas front.  Yesterday, was Dad's 87th birthday.  We had a little party for him and he was not at all interested in it at all.  He did realize that it was his birthday, but that was about all. 

Also, we have figured out that he has shingles now.  They are on the back of his neck and go to the front of his neck and up to his ear.  We first thought he was having an allergic reaction to something, and tried the Benedryl thing and it really didn't help.  But yesterday, blisters erupted on his neck.  Joan was the one who thought of shingles.  She looked it up on the internet and saw pictures and sure enough, that is what his rash looks like.  I called his doctor and she called me back and by describing his symptoms, she thought it was shingles too.  She prescribed an anti-viral medication and a strong pain killer for him.  We can't give him too much, because it may suppress his breathing.

So this morning, I stopped by to see him and the shingles looked a little better.  However, his urine output was very low, only about 150cc's from 7pm to 6am.  And his urine is black from blood.  We have an appointment with the urologist today at 3:45pm to see about that.  Sara (the day nurse) called me about 8 am and she said he had put out about 400cc's since I was there at 6am.  So we will find out what is going on.  He was moaning (I could hear over the phone) and told her to go ahead and give the pain killer to him.

I really are not sure how much more he can take.  He looks so bad now especially with the shingles on his neck and face.  I sure hope the anti-viral works for him.  They say they last about a month and can be very very painful.  It is best for the anti-viral to be given with 72 hours of the begining of shingles, and I am not sure if we figured it out in time, but the drug seems to work some, so I am hopeful.

I will let you know what the Urologist says today.

Love and Hugs,  Mary

Thu 7/12/2007 7:26 AM

Hey to all,

Sorry, I haven't written in a while, but Dad has kept us busy.  He has been in and out of the hospital again.  He is currently in today and is getting his feeding tube replaced due to some obstructions and the top plug has fallen off (the hospital nurses lost it last time he was in). 

Joan is here and Tom and Matt are coming today for visits. Joan will be here for 2 weeks (her normal help us out summer trip - I won't call it a vacation) and Tom will be here for 4 days.  Matt will be staying a bit longer and will go home next friday.  Mary is going to have back surgery on the 16th and with Matt staying here with us will free up Tom to focus on Mary and her recovery.

Back to Dad.  We took him back into the hospital on Friday, the 6th.  He was making the awful gurggling sounds when he took a breath.  The Pulmonary doctor has been treating him aggressively and started to have his lungs suctioned on a regular basis.  One of his lungs was filled with mucus and had collapsed.  The suctioning has helped that alot.

Another issue was that his formula was getting into his lungs.  When we feed him, you pour a certain amount of the formula and water directly into his stomach.  What is happening is that the fluid is comming back up his throat and the little flap that closeses the lungs isn't working and the fluid goes into the lungs.  So the doctor has changed his type of feedings to a feeding pump where he is getting a continuous amount of food (40cc's) an hour and has ordered that his bed be kept in an upright position and he is not to be laid down flat except for very short times. 

Oh, my God has this helped tremendously.  He is like a different person.  In just one day, the change was astounding!  His color looks so much better, because of the clear lungs and his ability to process the air without the mucus in the lungs.  God, he is such a fighter!!  I just don't know where he gets the strength to fight. 

The outlook was very gloomy on Monday (his coloring was gray) and the doctor told us that there may be a very good chance that he would never get to go home and that he would have to be in a skilled nursing home for the rest of his life.  Then on Tuesday, they said, oh, he will be going home as soon as the G-Tube is changed out(his coloring was a pretty pink)!  What a difference a day makes and a change in the way we are feeding him.

So that is how things are going this week. He is supposed to have the surgery today at Noon and it should only take a few minutes, they go into his stomach and pop off the old tube and insert the new one.  No cutting is involved.  So the recovery will be pretty quick.  He does have to be sedated so there is always a chance of things that could go wrong, but I am confident that all will go well.  He is such a strong man.

I will let you know when he goes home and how things are progressing.  I hope that eveyone had a great 4th of July and a great month ahead.

Love and hugs to all,

Mary, Anna, Joan, Tom, Jerry, Matt, Aaron, and all the pets (Tiger, Hoochie, Lucky, Harley, Daisy, Gus, the fish and The Birds - who have 9 eggs that we think are duds and that the birds are both girls)

Mon 4/30/2007 11:15 AM

Hey to all,

Wanted to let you know that Anna and Joan brought Dad home from the hospital on Wed evening.  He is ok, but just ok.  Can't say that he is doing real well, but that he ok.  His sugar keeps dropping and it is a bit hard to control.  You would think that having the restricted diet of the canned formula would keep his sugar pretty consistant, but it doesn't. Last night it fell to 32.  We had to quickly get some sugar into him (we had some sugar pills left over from Aunt Jay - she was doing that too) and that seemed to help.  We stopped giving him his pill for the diabetes and will only give if his sugar is high.  We used to have to give it daily, but now we just have to check.

In the hospital he was 115lbs and don't know his weight now.  He seems to be just melting away.

Bob and Judy came to see him and from what Joan and Anna said, he seems to know Bob. Yesterday, I told him "your sister called me today" and he said "who" and I said "Rita" and he shook his head and listed to what I told her about Rita.  So he still knows what is going on.

Gotta run and get back to work.

Y'all have a great day, 

 Love and hugs,  Mary

Fri 4/6/2007 1:11 PM

Happy Easter Everyone!! 

Just wanted to check in with all of you and let you know that things are ok.  Dad is at home and is stable.  He is not really talking to you  and he is sleeping alot.  But he is still pretty strong.   

His new issue is that he is constipated now.  Not sure what is going on with that, but he is now on some stool softners,  those started a few days ago. Joan was here for her spring break and she was a lot of help for me.  She cleaned my house and car!  What a great sister! 

She also took Dad to see the doctor while she was here. Well, there isn't much to update you on.  He is home and stable and that is a good thing. 

Happy Easter and have a great weekend.

Love and hugs,Mary

Mon 2/19/2007 12:12 AM

Hi to all

I just got back from visiting Ed in Houston. He is in the hospital.

It seems he had a "flash edema" episode. I hope i am spelling edema correctly. It means that he is retaining water. Often you may see edema as a swelling of the legs ets, but in his case is is effecting his heart and his lungs. This could lead to congestive heart failure (CHF) and/or pneumonia.

When he was admitted to the hospital on friday he was in bad shape. Joan was visiting for her Presidents Day holiday and during the admission process she asked the doc what would happen if we did not admit him and take him home.  The doc said that he would be dead in 2-3 hours. It appeared that his lungs were filling up and his blood presure was 80/48.  He breathing had the crackling that may be the "death rattle" but we are not really sure what that sounds like.

Anyway, they got the right directics in him and within hours of admission he was looking better. I got to Houston around noon on Saturday and he looked better than I expected.  He was getting a lung treatment and had a mask on. I made a comment that he looked like a fighter pilot and he smiled.  He was also able to squeeze you hand and push back when you pushed his foot (on his non-stroke side). He was up and semi-responsive for about 2 hours on Saturday.

On Sunday he was sleeping the whole time we were around from 9 am until about 4 pm when i left for the airport.

I talked to his primary doc Saturday evening around 10 pm when she made her rounds and she said that Ed is a "delicate flower". He was thrilled with how clear his lungs sounded and was talking of sending him home on Sunday. But as of 4 pm they had not removed the Foley so it is unlikely that he would be released on Sunday.

The key will be to balance his fluid and food intake via the feeding tube so he has enough fluid to keep his BP up but not so much that he has congestive heart failure. They are also cutting back on the dosage of this heart meds so they won't get too concentrate and become toxic to him. They also changed his diaretic meds too.

So we will see how this episode ends.  Thank you for all the prayers and good wishes.  We will keep you informed.

Tom for Anna, Joan and Mary too.

Hey everyone, Just wanted to y'all an update on Dad.

He has had a rough start to the year. So far he has been in the hospital two times and is currently still in. The first time was pneumonia and congestive heart failure. That was 2 weeks ago in Jan. Then, Anna and I had to take him again on Feb 2 because he was/is sleeping and not waking up.

He also didn't urinate for about 18 hours. He still hasn't really awakened yet, but as of last night he will respond a little to you. In fact last night was the first time that he opened his eyes (just for a second) when asked. He will give you one word answers (in the past two days). They do have a catheter in him and he is making urine.

The physicians really don't know what is wrong but are guessing that he is having either a reaction to one of his meds or an interaction of the meds. We suspect that since his kidneys aren't working too well, that his paxil is concentrating in his blood making the drug work alot more.

He also is getting the pneumonia because he is having a hard time with the swallowing. We are having him evaluated today for a feeding tube. He really hasn't eaten since Friday, with the exception of 2 bowls of soup.

So we shall see what happens. They are probably going to discharge him today or within the next few days, since he is really only sleeping and doesn't meet the criteria for being in the hospital.

Will let you know what is going on with his condition. At this point I don't think the long-term outlook is very good.

Love and hugs to all of you,

Mary

Hey Everyone,  I wanted to let everyone know that Dad is back in the hospital.  This makes the 8th time since late February 2006.  He went on Nov 13th with the congestive heart failure and stayed about a week, and he is back in again exactly one month to the day with the same thing.  His heart is just getting weak.  Maybe the doctors will change around his medications this time and that may help him out.

I will write more later, just wanted to let everyone know what was going on.

Love and hugs to all and of course our family wishes everyone a great holiday season.

Mary

They did testing and found out that he has CHF (congestive heart failure) again.  This time it was caught very early. The cardiologist said that he was probably straining on the pot and that can sometimes drop the blood pressure.  He said as soon as the EMT's laid him on the floor, the pressure went back up enough to arouse him .  He was scheduled to come home yesterday, but the GP (Dr. D) gave him some IV fluids and it made the CHF worse.  There is a fine balance with him and his fluids.  Too much gives him CHF, too little makes him dehydrated and stresses the kidneys.  So they had to give him more of the lasix.  According to Sara, he was good this am.

Liz had her baby on Friday, Aug 25 th.  A girl.  That is all we know for now.  Both are doing well.

Hope everyone didn't get any damage from Ernesto.  Can't believe all the storms that FL gets.  Are y'all ready to move to TX, we don't get that many, we ship them east!!

Well, that is about it for now.  Will keep you posted.

Oh, and our Dombroski Matriarch, Rita is having a birthday tomorrow.  We want to wish her the best in the upcoming year!!  Love and hugs from us here in TX!!

Hope all is good with all of you.  

Love,  Mary, Anna, and The Birds.

 Dad's Dr. just called and said that he has lower lobe pneumonia in both lungs (he aspirated food again yesterday, we think).  She is calling in the lung specialist and doesn't feel that he will be home anytime soon (at least not before the Labor Day Holiday).

Mary

Just wanted to give everyone an update on Ed.  He is doing ok.  He got out of the hospital last week and was very happy to be home.  He is still not 100%.  They had him on 2 antibiotics to help cure up the wound on his pacemaker site and they have caused a bit of trouble for him. 

He is having a bit of stomach upset and one of the antibiotics caused "frequent urination"  yea, about every 30 minutes or so.  So he hasn't been sleeping 'cause he wants to pee.  I took him to the MD on Monday to the specialist.  His blood work from the neurologist showed positive for lupus and he sent him to a rheumatologist.  That MD did a bunch more lab work and all turned up negative.  I wasn't too concerned because when I was growing up my best friend's mom had/has lupus and dad didn't have any of those type symptoms, especially the very known butterfly face rash. 

Then on Wed we went to the regular GP, Dr. D.  She is doing a urine culture just to make sure he doesn't have an infection.  She is also giving him a drug that will cause the urethra to expand so that his bladder will empty.  She said that he may not be emptying the bladder and thinking that he still has to go.  So she gave us some samples to try for 2 weeks.

Overall, he is a bit quieter, I think he still has a bit of pain with the wound and he perks up when the pain pills (Tylenol) kick in.

We got Dad some Love Birds!  They were to be brought to him the day he went into the hospital, so they had to wait.  I got them from a friend of my boss.  They are gorgeous birds.  Not tame at all, but Anna is trying to get them to feed from her hands.  The love birds are a Lutino.  That means they have lost some of the pigment (blues and greens) and are yellow and red and white in color.  It is a genetic thing that happens pretty often, but the birds don't look like your average love birds.

The birds don't really have names yet.  We think they are male and female, but you don't know for sure unless you do a DNA test!  So we are calling them male and female.  Sometimes Dad calls them Joe and Stella (his oldest brother is Joe and his wife is Stella or Dad's sister is Stella,  we don't know what Stella it is, but feel if they are a "couple" they will be brother Joe and wife Stella)  Other times he calls them Mary and Joan.  I like Joe and Stella the best so far. 

Some of Joe and Stella's kids are on this e-mail list and you dad must have been very close to Ed.  He talks about them all the time.  He tells me stories of what they used to do together.  Dad also picks up a picture that is on the dresser and looks at them every day (actually multiple times a day - it is on route to the bathroom)

Dad makes quacking noises at them and sometimes he meows at them too.  If they pick up any speaking/mimicking it will either be "do you want to pee?" or "quack, quack, quack" or of course "meow meow."  Dad really does watch them and is very interested in them.

Dad is still missing Mom very much.  He looks at her picture on the way to the potty too and says "that's my girl"  But overall he is doing well coping with her death.  Actually a bit better than I thought.

Some of the PA folks are talking about having a Dombroski family reunion this summer.  I am interested in going.  We have our nephew, Andy's college graduation in June and we may take Dad to that.  Tom talked about July, but that may be too soon/hot for Dad.  Maybe Labor Day?

Well, it is about time for me to head out for the weekend.  Y'all have a wonderful weekend and keep Ed in your prayers.

Love and hugs to y'all,

Mary

The pacemaker replacement went very well. We got to the hospital and of course, Dad wasn't on the list. After the nurse calling around, he found out that the Dr's office faxed the orders, but the Cath lab didn't get them, So they added him to the schedule. The person who was ahead of Dad had a longer proceedure and he didn't get to the cath lab until 4pm. It didn't take very long at all. Dad was back into his room at 5pm. The Dr. only had to replace the pacemaker and not the leads. They gave Dad dinner and sent us home by 6:15pm.

After he got back to the room, he called me over to his bed and told me "I've got something to tell you" I said "what" he said "quack, quack, quack." Yea, he was back to his old self. We got him and home and he was even walking like his old self. So all is good. It is nice for something to work like it is supposed to.

Love and hugs to all,Mary

12/9/05 2:50pm
Hey Y'all,

Happy Holiday's to all of you.

Sorry it has been so long since an update. All was good until last Thursday, Dec 1, 05. I was at the house about 3:30pm and Mom was looking ok. Liz had given her an enema at 3pm because she was having some constipation issues. She had a little movement before I got there. Then all of a sudden Mom started to throw up a few times. Then she went non-responsive. Her blood pressure was something like 54/34 and pulse in the 30's.

I called 911 and they took her to the ER. After many hours, it turned out that she had a toxic level of one of her heart pills in her blood stream. What the MD told us was that she was dehydrated and the cardiac pills concentrated in her blood stream and made the pills work better. So that slowed her heart. In addition, she had a GI blockage.

The MD told me that alot of her cardiac pills are calicum blockers and the muscles take calcium to work. She also said that the GI track is a large muscle, so that the calcium blockers from the heart meds also slow down the GI tract, causing constipation.

So I did check and didn't overmedicate her with her pills, I was worried about that. Mom was admitted to the hospital. The overmedication thing has resolved itself by just not giving her that med for a few days. The constipation thing is still ongoing. They have done a few cat scans etc to check on the progress of that. And she had a bladder infection.

The newest thing is that she has aspirated some food and now has as aspiration pneumonia. They are treating her with more antibiotics and breathing treatments. I will let everyone know how she is doing. I know this is a bit sketchy, but I have been busy at work and running back and forth to the hospital has Anna and I pooped.

For now she is in the hospital and doing ok, still has the constipation and still has pneumonia, bladder infection is better and the heart issue is better. So we are 1/2 the way there.

Love and hugs to all,

Mary

9/27/05 9:51am
Hey To Everyone,

Boy has it been a busy month. By now all of you know of the passing of Aunt Jay. She died at about 4:25pm on Sunday, August 21, 2005. We had the memorial mass on Sat, Aug 27, 05. The mass was lovely. Mom cried alot the service, and later we noticed that she was sorta depressed.

Anna sat down and talked with her about Aunt Jay and she seemed to do a bit better after that. I kept her updated on things and read all the cards to her and just kept her in the loop. Today she is very well. Dad was very upset when we told him about Jay. He did well at the funeral and I am not too sure if he still realizes that she died. He walks past the room she was in and tells me "there was a lady in there, but she isn't there any more." I just say, "yes there was" and he then talks about something else.

Then just a few days later there was the Katrina hurricane. We weren't impacted on a personal level, but my hospital was.  We took in about 30 patients and other parts of my office area were busy (I share office space with our Risk Management dept and they get to deal with alot of the legal issues with the patient's like how to treat them if there isn't any parent to give permission. Lots of the kids we got, their parents were evacuated to another area or even state.), but the Safety dept was not busy with those folks at all.

We of course, just got through with Hurricane Rita. Anna and I made the decision not to move Mom and Dad. We are not in the area of the city that was under mandatory evacuation and we are not in a flood zone. Anna did a wonderful job of accumulating supplies (depends, wipes, gloves, food, etc) for us and we both prepared both homes for the storm. All in all, the storm was pretty uneventful.

At my house (which is 7 blocks from Anna's) we had the cable go out at 8pm on Fri (it got back on Sunday) and we had quite a few small power outages that only lasted a few seconds. At Anna's house, they lost power at 3 am Sat morning and it came on at 8 am and then off again at 9am, then it was back on for good at 1pm. So they had about 8 hours of no power, but all was good. Anna stayed at the house to ride out the storm and Liz and her family was there too. Jerry and I and our friend Buddy (he lives near NASA and was under the evacuation) rode it out at our home.

We really didn't have any damage to any of our homes, just some tree limbs that fell. In fact, we only got about 1/2 of rain during the entire storm. We still had to water the grass after the storm. Jerry has two co-workers that live near where the storm made landfall and they had some damage and currently have no power or water. Other houses in the neighborhood had some fences blow down, and there were some uprooted trees.

Our biggest issue during the storm was that Sara, our nurse, decided that she was evacuating on Friday at 11:30 am. Anna and I pulled all the day shifts until she returned late Sunday. But Anna and I did well. We didn't break Mom and Dad. Liz did the nights and things are back to normal. Sara really did freak out though. She told us she would be to work all the days and then on Fri, she was supposed to work Fri, Sat and Sun 7am to 7pm. She gave Mom and Dad a bath and just left. She told us she was going to a friends house just a few miles away, and ended up going to Austin. Overall, it was better that she left. She was getting Mom and Dad nervous. 

Where Anna works, gave them off until Wed. I had to return to work on Monday. It was a busy Monday, so I didn't get this e-mail out to you yesterday. Gary (a co-worker) and I had to save the hospital from a "suspicious" letter which was leaking a brown powder. Turned out a vendor sent out a letter notifying the hospital of a name change in their company, and they sent a package of M&M's as a treat. Well, the M&M's got crushed during transit and the heat melted the chocolate and the bag oozed chocolate out the envelope at the flap and was also dumping the "brown powder." Our Security Dept called Gary and myself along with 3 off duty Houston Police officers (which work here) to look at the envelope. Oh, it is so much fun sometimes in the world of Hospital Safety! But all is good here at the hospital. We didn't get any wind damage at all.

Not much else happening here. Since Anna is off today, I have her taking M&D to see Dr. D for their monthly doctor visit and to get their regular blood work done.

Love and hugs, Mary

Hey to all,

Just wanted to give you an Aunt Jay update. Sorry Tom and Mary, I forgot to give you the update on Wed.

On Wed (Aug 3rd), they took Jay to the cath lab for her test (finally)! Got great news. She doesn't have any issues with her heart!! She does have a little blockage in some of her arteries, but not anything we have to worry about. One has about 60-70% blockage, another one has 40-50% and the last one is 90%. The one with 90% is a small insignifant artery according to the cardiologist. He said that even if she was 30 years old, he wouldn't do anything to that one. So nothing needs to be done with the heart. The cardiologist also did the legs and found three spots in her right (the bad one) leg that needed angioplasty. The left leg was ok and didn't need anything done to that one.

After the angioplasty they moved her to a different unit, 10th floor in Dunn building (she was on 11 in Fonderen). She is still there this am.

The doctors have decided to move her to a L-TAC unit (I think it stands for Long Term Acute Care Unit). They suggested 2 here in the med center, but Anna and I decided to bring her to one near the house. It was the same as one of them in the med center. So she will be taken by ambulance (today I think) to the new LTAC.

It seemed ok to both of us last night. I did look at the ones in the med center and they were ok, but they would have to get her all new doctors, because none of her current ones worked there. So Anna and I thought that we want her to keep with Dr. D and she does that LTAC. Dr. D also suggested that we take her there for her wound care before she got put into the hospital. So that is the main reason we made that decision.

I went to see her this am and I of course had to get the nurses straightend out. They weren't giving the pain meds like she needs them and they had her bad ankle on the bed and they didn't have pink ankle protectors on her. So I got the nurse "on board" with what Jay needs and got Jay situated. I will have to do it at the new hospital when she gets there. I had finally got the staff on 11 trained, so since she got moved to 11, I had to do it again.

I spoke with a lady at the Med Center who does the discarge planning etc and told her where we wanted to take Jay and she said she has sent a few patients there, and hasn't heard anything negative about them. Frank the PA for the cardiologist, said that he thought it was a good choice and to have Dr. D. was great. So I feel pretty good about the choice.

Now today, they are giving her another unit of blood. Her haemoglobin was in around 7 today, Frank thinks she is bleeding in the GI tract (ulcers in the stomach) because of the anticoagulants they are giving her. He said it was a slow bleed and that maybe they needed to adjust the anticoagulant (it's not coumadin, and I can't remember the name). He also said that they would up the ulcer medication to 2 times a day instead of once. Oh, and inquiring minds wanted to know her blood type, B pos, just like dad.

I decided to take her "personal" items home with me and manually transfer them to the LTAC. I found the other slipper today and didn't want them to loose her glasses. So I have her clothes, sweater, slippers, glasses, Aunt Rita's card, and the plant (from Jo and Dolores). The other stuff can get lost or not taken, it is all hospital supplies and they can get more at the LTAC.

I will continue to keep y'all up to date when I know something new.

Oh, and Mary Liz, if you need someplace to recover from your sugery, we have a spare room at the "Dombrowski Manor"!!

Love and hugs to all,
Mary

8/1/05 7:48am
Not much news on the Jay front. She has not gone for the cardiac cath, and I have no idea when it may be scheduled. It turns out that she has/had a bacterial infection in her blood stream. It is e. coli. It is very bad to have and they have to clear up that infection before they can do the cath. They aren't sure how she got it, but I have a pretty good idea.

On Sunday, the 17th, at the hospital, they did the NG tube thing to her and gave her the GoLitely (1 gal), Jo,was at the room until about 3:30pm and they started to give her the stuff, well we girls went back at 6pm and she was sitting in poo! Literally, up to her boobs! Ya know the way the bed bends, well, the poo was about 1 inch deep in the bend. It was nasty.

Her IV was right there by the poo. I think that is where she got the infection. They moved her to another hospital in the Medical Center 2 days later and she started running a fever by Thurs. (I think). So the staff at the Med Center finally did some blood cultures (that was Monday, I think) as a guess to see what was causing the fever and low and behold, she has an e.coli infection.

So, an infectious disease MD was consulted. They have to clear her before they can do the cath. Since they know for sure they want to put in at least one stint, they have to wait. They said, if the blood has bacterial contamination, the stint will become infected and not do her any good. So we are in a holding pattern.

She is looking much better and not in so much pain. I believe she is on at least 2 antibiotics (IV) and that is making her feel better. I think it is also helping the ulcer in her foot. She isn't complaining near as much as she was about the pain. Either that or they are giving the pain meds on time, but I really think that maybe it is starting to heal.

They have her on 5 mg of Tapazole for her thyroid and I have never seen the endocrinologist. They have also put her on insulin. That seems to keep her diabetes in better control than taking the pills. They are giving it 2 times a day now. I really want to know what they are planning to do about the thyroid and the goiter.

Anna and Jo went to see her Saturday and she was very talkative and Joan called Aunt Rita and they (Rita and Jay) talked some. Yesterday, she was pretty sleepy. She woke up a few times and spoke to Anna and me, but then she kinda mumbled for us to leave. So we did. The nurse didn't have much to say to us, not too many MD's were there over the weekend, and she said that Jay wasn't on the schedule for the Cath on Monday. The nurse said the MD's were saying sometime this week. They said that last week too, then we found the blood infection.

Mom and Dad are pretty good. They had a pretty calm weekend. Jo took them and Liz and Aaron to see Matagasgar on Fri and she said it was a waste of money for M&D. They really didn't watch the movie at all. Oh well, at least they got out of the house for a few minutes and it wasn't to see a doctor.

It was very sad to see Jo leave. She was like a fixture in the house. It was pretty quiet without her. She really was a HUGE help to us this past month. Don't know what we would of done without her. Well, we will find out this week. It was great that she was here when Jay was in the hospital. I also had a bunch of doctors stuff for her to do while she was here.

With all the company coming and going, our dog Harley (the deaf one) was having issues. She seemed to be a little better last night. If she isn't better by the end of the week, I will get her to the vet. She has Obsessive/Compulsive disease and she behaves strangely. She will walk around in circles and bark at nothing all day. So we noticed that she does better if you give her a bone and then she will keep that in her mouth and settle down some. By the end of yesterday, she was not needing the bone so much and was laying in bed with Jerry and I and resting.

Well, that's about it for this am. I will go see Jay soon and if there is anything else, I will let you know.

Love and hugs, Mary

7/14/05 7:15 am
Just a quick update on Aunt Jay's condition.

The hospital has begun running tests and have had some complications, of course. In the ER they found an abnormal EKG and have determined that she has decreased blood flow in her heart. So they haven't really done much with that yet.

The other issue is that her hemoglobin went from 10 to 8 from Sunday to Tues. They have given her 2 pints of blood. The GI dr. wants to see if she is bleeding in her GI track. So they tried to do a bowel prep for a colonoscopy and she wouldn't drink the GoLitely (it's a gallon of the liquid), but they did give her the laxatives. They also took a scope down her throat today and found 2 ulcers and a hernia in her stomach and throat. The GI dr. said that we can't do the colonoscopy unless she gets the golitely and we would have to force her (tube up the nose into the stomach). We haven't made that decision yet. I am not sure that if we found any cancer if we would put her through treatment. Joan and I are going to ask her what she wants to do.

The cardiologists gave the go-ahead for the GI workup to see about the bleeding before they do anything to check on the heart. They may do a catherization to see where the blockage is and how much it is blocked. Haven't heard from them.

The main Dr. (D) said that they found a 6-7cm size growth on/near her thyroid which is pressing on her throat causing her not to want to eat/swallow. Still waiting on info on that and what they are going to do for her about the growth.

The other thing is that damned old ulcer on her right foot. There are a few issues with that. 1). decreased circulation getting to her foot. It may be just from poor circulation in general caused by the blockages in the heart or it may just be vascular disease of the leg. It seems the blockage is in the calf area. 2). She is not eating/drinking which isn't getting her immune system pumped up to fight the infection of the foot. So they feel there are a couple of factors affecting her foot.

The foot dr. thinks that they may be able to put a stint in her leg artery to open up the calf artery, but of course it has to be in conjunction with the cardiologist and the new vascular surgeon (yet to be named). Of course the biggest issue with this is that the leg/foot is causing her alot of pain. To her, this is the biggest issue and she is not really feeling that there is anything else wrong with her.

Will keep you posted on the progress.

Love to all,
Mary

So, nursing issues were resolved, Mom is great, Dad is great, and Aunt Jay is not really eating  or drinking anything!  Yes, she isn't really eating.  Aunt Jay, also came to us with an ulcer on her right ankle (the right side of the ankle) and it causes her alot of pain.  She is on a bunch of pain pills which depress her desire to eat and it also gives her a bit of nausia.  She also tries to eat, gets it just about swallowed, then she spits out the food/drink like it won't go down. 

We had to change her medical insurance from Humana HMO to Medicare because Texas doesn't accept the Humana HMO.  So we had to wait till July 1 for the Medicare to become active.  But I did take her to Dr. D the Monday after she got here, just to get her aquainted with Dr. D and to get her prescriptions going.  Then her leg was giving her so much pain we went to see Dad's foot specialist.  She got us on the correct track with her ulcer.  I took Jay back to Dr. D on 7/6 to ramp up her care.  She ordered a bunch of lab work to see where she is.  Then she really stopped eating. 

In the ER, they did an EKG and found some abnormalities that they didn't like, so they didn't start her on any IV fluids. The cardiologist is trying to find out if she is having some new issues or did she just have an abnormal EKG.  The GI dr. can't do any invasive testing until the EKG issue is resolved, so he did some CatScan's of her GI track.  Dr. D ordered a CT of her brain to look for a new stroke to see if that was why she has the swallowing issue.  That came back ok.  No new stroke, just the old one. 

7/12/05 9:58 am

Hey Everyone, 

Gosh it has been so busy this past month, I haven't had a chance to get y'all caught up.  It started just after my last e-mail to you.  Aunt Jay came.  That went pretty well, her coming and all.  Just as soon as we got Aunt Jay settled, we had to take Mom to the ER. 

They put Mom on some heavy duty antibiotics and boy did she perk up!  She looked 1000% better within 24 hours.  I had a appointment set up for her with the GI doctor to get her feeding tube evaluated the next day.  So I had to cancel that appt. and told the dr. that she was in the hospital and could he try to see her there.  Dr. D and the GI dr. decided to totally remove the feeding tube!!!!!  YEA!! We have tried to get this done for about a year, but they wouldn't do it.  The tube had turned totally black and it just looked so yucky!  So low and behold they took out the feeding tube and sent Mom home that Saturday (July 1).  She is doing so well. 

During this time, we also had another crisis.  Liz decided that we weren't paying her enought and decided to quit and put in a weeks notice.  So during this hospital stay we were interviewing nursing staff to fill her spot.  After a very intensive week of emotional ups and downs, Liz decided she wanted to stay with us.  However, I had found a replacement.  A male nurse!  He sounded great, Anna and I just felt he would be great with all the folks, was willing to do the work and drive from the Hobby airport area, and he sounded very good.  So I told him he had the job, pending his references. 

Well, had a problem there.  None of his references came back favorable.  So, we were in a quandry, did we hire someone who had bad references, but looked and sounded good (well really, no) or did we keep Liz and put of with all her fussing about pay.  So a very lovely lady here at work gave me some great advice.  She said we had to look at how Liz took care of the folks, did they like her, was she dependable? She also had been in our position, taking care of her Mom, and she said you don't have to like the nurse, the important thing is the quality of care. The answer to all those were yes.  She has what we are calling "premadonna" issues where she wants to be the top dog, so to speak, and make more money then the rest of the ladies.  We just can't pay any more then we are paying the ladies.  There just isn't enough money to do that.  So we decided to keep Liz, but we set some guidelines, with one being that she committed to stay working with us for at least 3 months. 

Mary

6/14/05 10:15am
Hey Everyone,

Got lots of stuff to tell you about this time. We have been pretty busy, so I haven't had time to e-mail.

On Memorial day - May 30, Dad started running a fever. Liz was working that day and she called the home health nurse and I called the doctor. Liz thought that he had a bladder infection, so the nurse got a urine sample and had it tested. The doctor went ahead and called in an antibiotic for a urinary tract infection (UTI). He got about 2 doses of the antibiotic and his fever was higher. I called the doctor again and made an appointment for him to be seen. It turns out that he had pneumonia again.

The doctor put him on a second antibiotic and had some blood work and x-rays done. Dad got to feel a bit better and we went back to see the doctor on that friday. She said he now has pneumonia in both lungs. So he was put on bed rest and no activities at all. He was not permitted to sit in the garage (in the heat). He did real well and his lungs are now pretty clear. He just finished the last of the antibiotics, yesterday, and he is back to his old normal self. The doctor felt that we caught the pneumonia very, very early and we saved him from being admitted to the hospital. He doesn't do well in the hospital at all, so that was good.

Mom is ok, but is having some stomach issues again. She is gassy and is having some dirreaha. The nurse came by late yesterday and looked at her and gave some hints for us until the doctor gets back with her. Mostly, keep her liquified up (she was getting a little dehydrated) with some pedialite. She also said she had some crackling in her lungs, which may just be that she isn't breathing deeply enough to keep the lungs clear. She isn't running any fever or have any other symptoms at this time. We haven't heard back from the doctor yet, but it could just be that she needs some imodium.

Our other big news is that we are getting a new border on Saturday! Aunt Jay has finally agreed to come and stay with us. She is Dad's younger sister. She has been having some health issues and there really isn't anyone checking on her daily.

The assisted living place, where she lives doesn't give comprensive nursing services there, they really are only there to help with basic needs like medication assistance, bathing, bathroom help etc. Aunt Jay has gotten a few very bad UTI's. One was so bad that they thought she had a stroke because she was slurring her words, couldn't swallow etc. They took her to the emergency room for treatment and found the UTI and no stroke, YEA!

She was also getting rashes around her privates. Usually that means she is sitting in soiled depends and not being changed enough. Her leg also has issues and with her being a diabetic that can be bad. So anyway, Aunt Jay has agreed to come live with Mom and Dad! We really thought it was going to be hard to get her to come, but she was ready. For all of you who don't know Aunt Jay, she is 1 month older than Mom and she had a mild left side stroke in the late 90's. She can speak and has less dementia than Dad. She is using a wheelchair now, but maybe we can get some therapy and get her moving some. I haven't seen her since we moved Mom and Dad, but Joan (who has been an angel and taking care of her from Atlanta) says she can put weight on her good foot to help pivot to move her.

So Anna, Kelley, Jerry and I have been getting a room ready for her. Anna has decided that she would get more rest by moving out to our house. So she and Tiger are back in the garage and we have a place for the nurses kids (sometimes the kids have to spend the night at the house if their babysitter craps out on them) to sleep in needed.

The room that Jay will have was Anna's spare room and had mostly books in it. We got a storage unit and move most of the books there and made a library out of the storage unit. It has AC so she could go over there and work if she needed to access the books.

Joan is in charge of getting Jay to Houston and all that stuff. Joan went down to take Jay back to see her doctor (in early June) and cleared out her room and sent us 4 boxes of her stuff. Jay has another doctor's appt on this Friday at 2 (in FLA) and Joan will get her medical record and medication prescriptions. Then she and Jo will hop a plane in Orlando Sat and arrive around 2pm here in Houston.

We are way excited to get her here. I think she will do so much better. Joan has been checking on her every few months and taking her to see the doctor when she is there. It is pretty tough to do that long distance. What Jo would do, is fly out to Houston and then to Orlando on the way back to check on Jay. I have her set up to see Mom and Dad's doctor on Monday so we can get her started on Home Health, PT and get her leg looked at.

So we have been pretty busy with Dad and Jay this past month.

I will let everyone know how it goes with the Jay move and Mom's doctor appt.

Love and hugs to all,

Mary et.al

Hi, WoW you all work fast. Two weeks ago is you were search to get something done and you went from "git-r-done" to "got-r-did" (KNOCK ON WOOD)in no time.

It sounds like things really changed in less then two weeks. AGAIN, WOW.

If it would help I could come down to FL and do a U-haul run to TX that week end. If Joan or perhaps Robbie could help me load up on Saturday morning I could get to TX by Sunday morning. (Based on our last trip it was about 15 hours of wheels turning).
Anyway, if that would help the cause I'd be willing.

Again, I am stunned with how fast it all came together. A big pat on the back to all!!!

Love, the yankees.

Hi!
Great news! Joan has been talking to Jay on the phone, and she says Jay is very eager to move. I made reservations for Jay and Joan to fly first class) from Orlando to Houston on Saturday June 18th.

First class wasn't much more expensive. With all my frequent flyer miles, last year when we were flying back and forth to Orlando, I would buy an economy class ticket, but when I'd arrive for the flight, I would always have an upgrade to first class. It's not all that different from economy, but the seats are wider and more comfortable, and there is more leg-room, which should make it easier to get Jay in and out of the seat.

This is such a relief! Joan is going down next week and will take some suitcases so they can begin to plan moving Jay's clothing and other small items. If she wants to bring her chair, we can arrange to have that shipped. I think Kelley has done that for one of her elderly relatives previously.

On Saturday Mary, Kelley and I are going to start "attacking" my garage. We need room there to begin next "attacking" the spare bedroom that will be Jay's. For those of you who have been to my house, it will not be the one I'm presently using, but the first one at the "L"-shaped turn in the hallway to go to my room and M&D's. That way there will be easy wheelchair access from the living room with no turns, whereas in my present room, there would be 2 right-angle turns to get the wheelchair into that room.

I'll take my twin bed to Mary and Jerry's garage bedroom (with Tiger's bed). We will move the double bed presently in the garage bedroom into the room I'm resently sleeping in. That way there will be a place for Liz's 3 kids (a 4 yr old + 2 yr old twins) and Sara's 11 yr old to sleep over. Both Sara and Liz were relieved to hear about that, so they don't have to scramble if a babysitter cancels at the last moment.

Well, take care. Lots of love and hugs, Anna

Wow, this is happening pretty fast! One thing crossed my mind, it's silly really, but I will bring it up before I forget. If Jay tells your Dad that their house is sold, this could cause a real problem for him. I know that he pesters Jay sometimes, and actually, when they get going, she gives as good as she gets. I would just hate it if she threw that in his face during a fit of annoyance. Any ideas about that?

Gotta go

M

Hi,

I added Tom, Mary Liz and Kelley as idea people for this. To fill you in, last night Aunt Rita talked to Jay and Jay agreed to move to Texas. One other possibility, I told my boss I wanted to take some vacation in July while JO was here. Perhaps she and I co uld drive to FLA to move Jays furniture here at that time. I would bring things like her dresser, desk, chair, headboard (?) here so she has some of her familiar things in her room here.

I'd be moving some of my dressers to Mary and Jerry's garage bedroom anyway. I'd like to continue to sleep in a twin bed there so as to have more space in that room for a couple dressers and for Tiger's bed. We're pretty cramped with his bed and that double bed in there now. Maybe we could fly Rita to FLA to assist with moving Jay either by air or in a RV. Rita would probably be invaluable in keeping Jay calm and a happy traveler.

Love and hugs, Anna

Wednesday, May 18, 2005 9:02 AM
Subject: List of To-Do's with Aunt Jay

Joan, Here is a list of to-do's
Call Jay's doctor to see if she is able to fly.
Call Humana about insurance issues. Also ask if physical therapy is covered.
Call the Center ask what type of notice you need to leave. What furniture is hers, if she totally
hates it here can she come back (if a room is available) and would the rate be the same? What is their current rate, or is that what she is already paying.

If a go:

Need at least one to three months of prescriptions. Need to be filled in FL before move at a pharmacy that can transfer, like a walgreens.
Need doctor to let us know a diet for her. I know the diabetic one, but are there an y other restrictions, ie. low sodium or allergies

Need a copy of her medical cart from the Center and doctor.
Can Robbie and Marion keep her furniture (TV,chair, extra clothes we can't get on the plane) for us until we can get it moved to TX? Or if you drove down to Jay's, and kept your Explorer at their houseor Dotty and Frank's when you fly her here, then you could bring her stuff up to ATL and keep it there till you get a chance to move it.

You can give the bed and dressers away we would have plenty of beds and dressers for her here. In fact, I want to get the ajustable bed for her out of the storage unit here for her to use. I think she would like it alot.

Would you want one of our nurses to meet you in FLto help with her on the way here (if flying) or either Anna and I cou ld do that too? We could help if you needed non-nursing type help for the trip.

That's all I can think of for now. I will send out more if I think of anything else.
Anna, anything else to add?
M

5/12/05 4:44pm

Hi Sibs,

Good to hear from you Mary (PA).  Glad you enjoyed the necklace Mary (Hou) made for you.  She does such lovely work. 

Mom really loved the lilies Mary and Tom sent.  They came Saturday afternoon.  They were still in bud but some opened the next day, and they continue to gradually open, so she will enjoy them for quite a while.  They are a very lovely pink to pinkish-lavender color.  Her face really lit up when she saw them, and then lit up again when I told her they were from you.  She reached out and touched a bud very gently with this look of wonder on her face.  I know she understood you talking with her on the phone.  She likes that very much. 

I am firmly convinced that she understands what is going on around her, and she reacts appropriately.  I got a raise and a bonus recently.  When I told her, she looked at me, raised her eyebrows, pursed her lips while smiling, and nodded to me, as if she were saying "Oh how nice! I'm impressed! Well done!" 

She also knows that Mary will come to visit every day around 4pm.  When it gets past 4 and Mary is not there she gets restless and looks at the clock repeatedly until Liz tells her what's holding up Mary and that she will be around.  Then her agitation goes away.  When Mary was sick and couldn't visit recently, Mom didn't get agitated and she seemed to understand why Mary couldn't come visit.  The other evening I came home around 8:30 (the ONLY time I've come home late since I got back from Malaysia), and M&D were still up so I went into their bedroom to say hello.  Well, Tiger started howling and prancing outside their doorway and Mom very suddenly turned her head to the door and broke into a really big smile.  She then immediately turned to me and looked right at me still smiling broadly.  I said Tiger wanted to go for a walk, and she gave a very tiny nod of her head, and waved me out. 

Dad on the other hand wonders who Mary and I are from time to time.

He had a few days lately when he was acutely aware they were not in Florida and he thanked me each day for letting he and Eleanore stay with me.  Then one day he got kind of teary-eyed and asked if I could help him get Mom back to Florida.  I told him that she was too sick to go back right now, but when she was well I would be glad to drive them there.  He just nodded and then said thank you again and walked back to the bedroom (with Liz).  Nancy used to get upset when he would insist that this wasn't his home, and he wanted to go home with Mom to Florida, until I explained that I've been telling him I would gladly drive them when Mom was better.  Apparently now she are using that logic with him when he gets upset about not being in Florida.

And then there are the days when he smiles broadly and tells me how great it is that Mary comes to Florida to visit them every day.  I guess I must be living in Florida too.  And The Big Dog is NOT HIS dog!!!!

Oh, hey, M&T, in addition to thanking you for the book by the autistic lady Temple Grandin on understanding animals, thanks for the Renaissance CD!  I found it in the book the day after I wrote you that other note of thanks! The book brought to my conciousness that I've been doing a very Aspie-type thing all my life.  (JO and Mary Hou - this is the lady that come up with the way to calm down cattle in a slaughter house was to put them in a slot where they had gentle pressure on each side.  This then was applied to autistic and Aspie kids by wrapping them tightly in a blanket and holding them close.) I've always prefered to sleep with a pillow parallel to my body with my head on one end and then the rest against my chest.  I used to love that Maggie used to sleep back-to-back with me, and I've missed that greatly since she passed. Now that I'm back in a twin with the side pressed up against the wall, I started putting a pillow there so that I get the gentle pressure like Maggie used to provide.  Well, that's the same thing as wrapping an autistic-Aspie kid in a blanket!

 Ah, the Aspie within!  I understand some of my own behavior much better since learning about Aspies.  Oh, my lady friend from Holland, Leigh, wrote me recently that her son with the problems has been diagnosed as an Aspie also, although in my opinion he is a much milder case than Matt.  It makes sense when I think about her now ex-husband Joel.  I can see him as an adult Aspie, although not nearly to the degree of my friend Steve, who by the way was in Italy on vacation with his wife recently.  He sent me a postcard of Pompeii!

Well, I'm going home now.  Take care and lots of love and hugs, Anna

5/12/05 9:00am
Good Day to Everyone,

It has been about a month since my last update, so I thought I better get on the stick and get something out to all of you wonderful folks.

All is good here in TX. It is starting to get the temperature increase going. We have already had some days in the high 80's. This kind of concerns Liz. Dad LOVES to sit out in the garage, but then he starts to sweat, so Liz thinks it's time to go in the house, but Dad wants to stay in the garage. Dad usually wins. Anna's house has some neighbors who are very active outside. There are a bunch of kids that play within his sights and they are playing all types of ball (in the street of course), riding bikes, riding skate boards etc and Dad just finds them fascinating. The neighbors next to them (which is one house closer to Anna's) have a few small kids (under the age of 5 I would guess) and their mom does alot of yard work with the kids outside. One day the mom dug a pretty good size hole (to plant a tree) and dad watched every move she made and it kept him busy all day long.

Liz takes Mom out to the garage too, but she doesn't stay as long as Dad. She gets tired quicker, but she does get fresh air. Liz also takes them for walks (one at a time) down the street a few blocks. Just a block away is what we call the "rich neighborhood." The houses start at about $250K and go up to $800K. They are all built around man made lakes. The lakes have fountains, little boats, docks, and lots of ducks. There is a rather large shaded dock that Liz takes them to so they can sit and watch the ducks.

The ducks come up to them and want food (but they don't feed them), so they are pretty entertaining. Now I have never seen this duck but Anna calls it the Jewish Tuxedo Duck. It looks like he is wearing a tux and has a big black spot on his white head right were a yamaka (SP?) would sit on a Jewish man. Liz has seen the duck and is very excited when she sees him now. If Dad is doing well, she can take both of them to see the ducks.

They are both doing rather well in the health arena. I take them to see their family doctor about once a month or every 6 weeks. One time she tried to have us come every 3 months, but that doesn't seem to work. It is like she has to lay hands on them monthly and they do well. So far (knock on wood), the last time any of them has been in the hospital was in Nov with Mom. So YEA!!!

We are having a bit of a time with getting their coumadin level adjusted properly. Mom keeps getting these big bruises and then she will seep a little blood around her g-tube. So we call the MD, and they hold the coumadin then it gets low, so we ramp it back up, then it gets to high, so we lower it. We have been having issues with this for about two months, then we were at the MD's last week and she asked if Mom was on aspirin too. I said yea, 81 mg/day.

She got this "the light bulb turned on look" and she said that's our problem. So we are to hold the aspirin for 2 weeks, then start it back up. I think I am going to try on Mom to give it every other day instead of daily. If I remember correctly, aspirin effects the platelets and it goes for 3 days. So if I do every other day, there should be enough for the anti-clotting, but not too much to make her bruise and ooze a bit a blood.

Other than the coumadin level, they look pretty good. The MD does blood work about every 3-4 months just to keep up with all their levels, so they are due up in June. Dad seems to be improving slowly. He is getting stronger and the hormone shots may finally be wearing off. He is still having the sweating, but it seems to be getting less often.

We changed the Home Heath service and this service is doing just wonderful. There is an older man that is the PT guy and he and Dad really connect. I think that is really helping Dad do the PT. He sometimes overworks Mom and then we have to wait a bit , but he is getting the hang of her endurance level. She just can't do it a often/long as Dad can.

Anna and I are doing fine. I have had a really bad cold that has lasted for about 2 weeks, so I haven't been spending much time at the house. I don't want to infect them. I am finally starting to feel better. YEA! It fells like I have had this cold forever. When I am sick like that, I just rush in to do what I need to do, and rush back out. It takes me about an hour to do "THE PILLS" so I usually do them in the bedroom with Mom. She likes to watch me do that. I think that she is making sure that I do the right. So when I was sick, I would do them in the living room and not spend any time in the bedroom.

Anna was gone for 2 very long weeks in April. She had to go to Malaysia for work. She got back a few days before I got sick so she was able to pick up my slack and run the errands for me and make sure they were doing well.

I guess that is about all for now. I better get back to work.

Love and hugs to all of you, from all of us here in Texas.
Mary

4/7/05 9:05am
Howdy Folks,

Just wanted to say hey to all of you and let you know that things are doing real well (knock on wood) here in Houston.

Mom and Dad both had their annual physical and the doctor did alot of blood work. Dr. D said their blood work looks like they are teenagers. Dad has high cholesterol and triglycerides, which she says is because of the diabetes (his fasting glucose was 131) and when that comes down, the others will too.

Joan was here for her spring break this past week. She left today to go to see Aunt Jay in Fl and to take her to visit her doctor and get blood work done. She is also going to be with Dotty and Frank for 2 days. Dotty is having a little surgery, and Joan will be able to be there with Frank. Good Luck Dotty, we are praying for your recovery.

Joan helped me out by taking Mom for a few tests at the local hospital. During the annual check up the Dr. wanted Mom to have a mamogram and a bone density test. So I scheduled them for this past Tuesday. The x-ray technician gave Joan a bit of a problem with the mamogram and said she was going to call the Dr. to see if she really wanted it done. Joan was like go ahead, but we want it done. So the tech called the Dr. and she said to do the test. Joan and I are like, well, we wouldn't put Mom through Chemo or Radiation if she had cancer, but we sure would get it removed and would like to know it was there.

What really happened was the tech saw Mom in the wheelchair and thought that this is going to be a hard patient to do and wanted the dr. to cancel the order, so she wouldn't have to do the test. So it got done, but I don't know the results yet. Will let you know if there is anything serious. The bone scan went well and that lady even gave Joan some bone scan results to have for "the file." I have never what the results of one looks like, but we have a copy. I am sure the dr. will let me know what it shows.

Anna headed out yesterday to Kuala Lumpur in Maylasia and will be there for about 2 weeks. Of course, this is totally work related. So I am "in charge" and Anna's dog, Tiger, came to say with us. Even though I am there daily, it is much easier to keep him fed etc at my house.

Well, that's about all for now.

Love and hugs to all,
Mary

3/3/05 12:05pm
Hey Everyone,

I hope everyone is ok and not stuck in a bad snow storm or blizzard. Our high here in TX is a roasty and toasty 66. Sorry you snow bound folks, keep warm.

We are all doing pretty well here in TX. Mom and Dad seem to be well. They had an interesting time while I was gone on my extremely WET camping trip. Mom and Dad went to a Baptist-type huge revival. It was some well known (to those who know) man who claims to heal people. Liz asked if she could take them, I thought what the heck. I was going to be questioning my Catholicism, if Mom got up and walked out of her wheelchair like this dude claims to do.

I got back home and the folks were the same, who would of guessed. Mom still doesn't talk or walk and Dad is still the same. So my Catholicism is still intact. But on the serious side, the ladies took M&D to this revival not once, but twice!! One time they didn't get home till 11:30pm!!! Anna was really getting worried about them, but figured, there wasn't a police officer showing up at the door.

Dad was amazed that he went somewhere where there was this big guy preaching on a huge TV screen. He was telling everyone about the big man. He didn't mention anything else about it. I told Mom, I had no idea they would take them twice, and I had no clue that they would stay out that late. She just gave a stern look, I did apoligize to her and said I wouldn't let them take then out that late again, and she smiled at me.

Now yesterday, I was a bit late getting over to see them, I had to take the kitten to the vet so they could look at her incision. Well, she has been licking on it, so now she is on antibiotics and has to wear an elizabethen collar. She hates it alot!!! Anyway, I was sitting in their bedroom doing the pills, and Liz told me that Mom was waiting for me to come. I asked her how she knew that and she said that at 4pm Mom looked at the clock in the room, then to the door. She was getting a bit agitated. Liz told her at about 4:15, that I had to take the kitten to the vet, and would be late. Mom calmed down then and was ok till I got there about 4:30. I think this is wonderful! She is aware of the time of day, has picked up my schedule, and wants to see me, eventhough sometimes I get the "hand" as soon as I get there. I guess I have made an unofficial schedule and need to keep it!!

Tomorrow, Friday, I am letting Liz take the van and she is having an outting with them to the Livestock Show. She is going to bring her hubby and kids too. I told her that there is alot to do and see there. I suggested they leave at 10 or so in the morning, and could do lunch there. I am going to tell her that she needs to be back at the house by 5pm. They don't need to get caught up in all that traffic.

For those of you who don't know about the rodeo/livestock show, here is a blurb from their website which tells about where M&D et al are/can do. there is much more to see and do. Kids and adults of all ages enjoy the famous pig races; pony rides; petting zoos; agricultural exhibits, such as a bee exhibit, milking parlor, egg hatching station, and more; acres of cattle, sheep, goats, rabbits, llamas, pigs and other livestock; cowboy church; and more. For those who prefer a wild ride, nothing thrills more than the carnival.

I will let everyone know what happens there. They get to have all the fun while we have to work.

Love and hugs to everyone,

Mary

Morning All,

Mom got her new wheel chair  yesterday!  Yea!  We have been waiting with bated breath for it to come.  We have been paying for a rental chair for a year.  Mom's chair is  red, infact, it is called tangerine red.  I guess it has a few specks of orange in it.  Medicare and Blue Cross paid for the entire chair and the extra special parts that Mom needs.  The cost was $4500.00!  Who would have guessed.

All is good here in TX.  Got a little cold front and that is keeping the folks indoors.  It was a comfortable 75 degrees plus earlier, which allowed them to get out in the fresh air.

Love to all,

Mary

1/31/05  12:45 pm

Hi Everyone,Here's an update on Daddy's fall yesterday morning also. No harm done, except slight bump on head (no swelling, no bruise), and a bruised ego. Afterwards he walked with no pain for the rest of the day, so apparently no harm done to his bones anywhere.

So what happened was at 7:40 Liz started to make breakfast (she likes to make breakfast while they are still asleep and then wake them up). I looked in on M&D, both appeared to be asleep, so I went out for I swear 6-7 minutes max to the nearby ATM machine. When I came back and went to my room I heard Mom doing her alert cry. She had thrown off her covers and had gotten her good leg partway off the bed, and she was straining to pull herself over to the left sidebar. When she saw me she pointed to the bathroom.

Of course, Dad's bed was empty and his legs were sticking out of the toilet room. He'd apparently fallen trying to turn himself around to sit down when he lost balance. His pants, etc. were still up. He fell with his back against a soft plastic waste basket about 24" high, which apparently broke his fall. It took both Liz and me to get him up.

Later he seemed chagrined about falling. I told him it was really good that he knew he needed to use the toilet, but he was not strong enough to get there by himself. He nodded, but who knows if he'll remember the next time. Liz immediately turned on the baby monitor in the kitchen. I'd been wondering why none of the ladies have been using it lately. I guess they were getting complacent (?). I just worry that Mom will someday actually succeed in getting out of bed and hurting herself when Dad is being "bad".

In my experience Mom trying to get herself out of bed to help him is very typical. It wouldn't suprise me if they both broke hips at the same time.

Meanwhile, Mary Liz and Tom, Saturday afternoon and evening Mary here progressively broke out with what looked something like reddish goosebumps or heat rash from head to toe, but it was non-itchy, not hurty, no fever, and not big ugly welts like hives. I used the ATM money to pay Jerry's Dad Kenneth, his brother Donnie, and a friend of theirs Marco to re-do my flower beds, wack hedges, plant stuff, etc. The yard looks really nice. Jerry worked too and I gave him a check for "plumbing" so he could use it for his business.

Happy Holidays to Everyone,

I hope all is good for all of you. We are doing fine here. We have been rocking and rolling with Mom and Dad. Today, all is good. Since Mom has come home from the hospital, she has her good days and her bad days. Sometimes she is having some stomach bloating and some diarrhea. One issue is that her GI tube sometimes pops open. The nursing staff at the hospital she was at, lost the closure to the G-Tube and sometimes the clamp pops open. We has put a hair barrette on it to keep it closed. That seems to help the inadvertant air intake. Other times, it is just stuff she eats, gives her gas.

On the 10th of Dec, one of our nurses, Sara, broke her ankle. She was not working for us at the time and was walking in high heels and she fell. She ended up breaking her ankle. She was off and started working nights with Scarlet. On this past friday, she called Anna, and said she didn't feel well at all, and wasn't sure if she was going to make it in to work on Sat. (the 18th). Denise has something in her mouth, that her daughter caught from her, and she couldn't come in either. So our wonderful, Anna, stepped up to the plate, or bed I should say, and did the nursing care for both Sat and Sun. She did a great job. I was told by Liz on Friday afternoon, that we needed dinners for Dad. He didn't like the ones that were left. So I went and did all the household shopping and got stuff to make the dinners.

Our dog, Lucky was yelping when you touched him, so I had to take him to the vet too on Sat. So on Sunday, I spent cooking for M&D and then I delivered the food and did dinner duty with Anna until the Nancy got there for the night shift. Dad was being a little fussy for Anna and didn't want to sit at the table for dinner, so I kept him company and helped him eat while he sat on the couch.

Joan is coming here on Wed for the holidays, and Tom, Mary, Andy and Matt are arriving on Friday. So the whole family will be together. That is so great! We haven't had the whole family there since 1997 for christmas (as far as I can remember). We have gotten the entire family together since then, but not at the holidays. I have the cookies baked and the house decorated. But there is still some stuff to do. I still have a few gifts left to buy and cleaning to do, shopping for food etc.

We aren't too sure if Sara will be ok to work next weekend, but with all of us here, we will get it done, it will be a great family bonding experience for all of us. Tom can do Dad and us girls do Mom and cook the holiday dinner. What a fun holiday we have planned. Actually, it really will be wonderful. All of us together!

I hope everyone has a great holiday!

Love and hugs from the gang in TX.
Mary

Nov 15, 04

Hey Everyone, I am back to work with my new and improved nasal airway. Can't say new nose, 'cuz it still looks the same, but I am breathing much better.

Mom is still in the hospital, but is doing better (for those of you who I missed sending the last e-mail to, I have attached it to this one, read the one below before this one).

This past saturday, they finally did a colonoscopy on her. They kept wanting to do one, but her potassium level was too low and they wouldn't do it till it got up in the 3.3 range. They kept giving her laxatives, which brings down the level, then they would give her IV potassium. The proceedure got delayed quite a few times.

The results showed that she had a stool impaction, which was gotten rid of in the second round of laxatives (they gave a second round when we got delayed from friday to sat). The MD said that she didn't have any tumors in her colon and he said it was inflammed due to the impaction. They had her on 4 different antibiotics (all IV), and as of last night only had her on 1 oral and 1 IV. I guess they have to get her off the IV antibiotics before they will send her home. They may also wait until her bowel moves too. I didn't get to see the MD yesterday.

Gotta run, but just wanted to keep you up to date.

Love, Mary

Good Afternoon All,

It has been a while since my last e-mail, but that is because all is good and there isn't much going on to tell you about. Both parents are well. No issues today. Dad is getting much stronger and is doing pretty good. Last week I had to take him and mom to the cardiologist for an office visit and lab work for Dad and lab work for Mom. Dad was doing well. He walked and got in the van by himself (which is great since it is a pretty big step up and he did it almost alone. Sara and I just had to scoot his butt back in the seat) and he walked into the office, down the hall to the exam room, then back to the main office, then to the other suite to get the blood work, then back to the van.

He did great. We haven't had him walking that much since his flu and pneumonia. He was also pretty funny with the nurse, Sara, that day. He wanted to wear 2 watches (one on each arm) and Sara didn't like that so she made him take off the extra one. Then he hid it from her and took it out to show me and then asked me to put it on him. So I did. If he wants to wear two watches let him. He also kept looking at both of them during the outing. Not that he checked both times at the same time, he would sometimes look at the one on the right, then later the one on the left.

Mom is good too. She seems to be getting stronger. She is putting a little weight on her left foot (the good one) and pivoting on it to get into the wheel chair. It's not alot, but it does help the nurses in the transfer. We are still working on getting her the correct wheelchair. I swear the process moves slower than anything I have ever seen. It will happen sometime.

Today, I am off to get her vision checked. I found a dr. who would do her with no speaking. Not too sure what what will happen, but we will see. At least I can get her old glasses tightened up. They constantly slide down her nose.

I have the flu shots lined up for them to take next week. The Kroger here has you make appts, they don't accept walk-ins. Their family dr. doesn't give them. And then I heard on the news last night the shots are in short supply. I got mine here at the hospital on Monday. Glad I did it then before they ran out or said only patient care people.

So overall, all is good here in Texas. The weather is getting a little cooler, into the 80's instead of the 90's. Don't want it too cool, Dad hates the cold now. He really likes it warm, even though he has those hot flashes all the time from the injections for the prostate cancer.

Well, I gotta run to get them picked up and over to the eye dr. Dad is going for the ride and the fresh air.

Love and hugs to all.

Mary

Hey Everyone, Just a quicky to share some more humor associated with the care of Mom and Dad.

Yesterday, Dad had a doctor's appt in the Woodlands TX (about 40 miles from us) concerning his spine. I also had an appt to take Mom at 3:15 to see her neurologist.

Dad and I got back from the spine dr. about noon. (He said he just wanted to wait and see if Dad will heal on his own. There is a proceedure where they "cement" the fractures, but it requires general anesthesia and being off coumain and we really don't want that). Dad is doing better and not complaining about the pain in his back as much.

Liz and I have been talking about giving Mom a perm. She is due for a hair cut and really needs a perm too. The guy who cuts her hair is a bit timid about doing a perm for her, so Liz and I decided we could do it and we decided to do yesterday between the dr's appts.

Liz got the perm box and was begining to open the chemicals and pour them together to activate them. I said, but we don't have the curlers/perm rods in her hair yet. Liz said you roll it after the chemicals and I said you have to do it before otherwise there is nothing for the hair to bend on. So she said there are better perms where you do the chemicals first and the rollers later. I was doubtful, but took my butt to the store to buy the product she told me about. Soft and lovely for children.

I looked at the box and it said it was a relaxer! I was thinking this couldn't be correct, because we wanted to curl the hair instead of straighten the hair. Well, I baught it anyway. If I am sent to the store for a product, that's what I bring back. Maybe Liz knew something I didn't.

Well, Liz starts to combine the products and I question her once more and she said it was a perm, but I said it is a relaxer.

So we decided to just roll her hair in traditional curlers and take Mom to the beauty shop for a perm and hair cut. I called the retirement community's hair salon and they will do it on Saturday.

Oh, and I want you to know when Liz was going to put the relaxer in her hair, Mom had the deer in the headlight look going on.

I hope you have a good weekend! I am off again today for a double doctor appt with both M&D at the same Dr.

Love, Mary

If you would like to contribute we are pitchin in $50.00 each. The chair is about 200.00 and Medicare won't buy those. It is like Aunt Jay's chair. Lightweight and easy to transport in the Malibu. Mom's chair won't fit in the Malibu and Dad has a hard time getting in my vehicles. Sometimes he won't ride in the wheelchair in my van, he wants to sit in the front seat like a regular person. Anyway, just making the offer as a "I don't know what to get him for father's day" gift thing.

If you want to pitch in just send either me or anna a check.

Love and hugs, Mary

Good Morning to all of you,

All is good today at the Dombrowski Rehab Center.  Dad is on the road to recovery and is looking better every day, but he still is not at 100%.  He is maybe about 65-70%.  He is still a bit weak and a bit shaky when he is walking.  His hand is doing better and the swelling has gone down and the hand is not as bruised at is was.  I am attaching a few pictures of Dad and his hand.  I will send a picture of Mom tomorrow.  I am having trouble with my computer skills or should I say computer accessories. 

Kelley got me this wonderful digital camera and we took some pictures this weekend.  So last night I went upstairs to download the pictures to the computer (which worked well), then I tried to save them to a CD.  Well that didn't work.  The CD gave me some smart butt window that said, you need to go out to the internet and pay a fee to get the "full" version of the software that will allow you to format the CD.  What the hell, I thought they came formatted.  So then I went to our hotmail account and was going to send them out to all of you last night.  Well, then I tried to attach one of the photos and 15 minutes later it still wouldn't attach.  What a pain. 

So I got a diskette and decided to save them on the one and only diskette I could find and then I attached a whopping 2 pictures and then it said disk full, BUT before I could do that I had to formatt the diskette.  What the hell again,  Why am I having to do all this disk formatting!  Jerry is out of town so he wasn't there to help me fuss at the computer.   I guess I have to figure out the photo software so the photos won't save in the great detail that they did so I can get more on a diskette.

So, let me get back to the folks.  Mom is doing well.  She has a doctors appt tomorrow and Dad has a bone scan.  I will get to try out the new lift tomorrow!  Mom is looking well, but she isn't able to tollerate sitting in the wheelchair for very long so I haven't been able to take her anywhere yet (like to church or to get her hair done). 

On Saturday, the bath lady came and got the mattress pad wet.  So Sara had to put Mom in the wheelchair so she could dry the pad.  Mom got real fussy being in the chair that long to dry the pad.  I need to see about getting a different wheelchair for her.  We have a rental one now, and I don't think it is the correct chair for her.

Anna got back from Oman on Thursday and I was glad to see her home safe and sound.  She had a good trip, but was tired.  She is back to work today.

Joan will be visiting Houston for a week begining this Thursday.  Can't wait to see her.  She will be suprised at how Mom is, she is so much improved from when Joan saw her last.  She will also be suprised at how weak Dad is.  Or maybe he will be better by the time she comes. 

Gotta get back to work.  Love and hugs to you all.  Mary

Hey Y'all,

It's getting hot here in Texas.  We are supposed to hit the big 90 this week and it is only the middle of May.  Oh, well, it is much better than freezing in the winter. 

Well, it has been a very busy week for me.  Anna is out of town and actually out of the country.  She is in Oman.  She left this past tuesday and will be back home this thursday (about 10 days) and I am in charge of the folks.  Scarry thought being the lone one to make decisions, just the small ones of course.  For the biggies, I get out the phone and get all the sibs involved.

Mom is doing very well.  She is very perky and bright eyed.  She is still "tattling" on Dad and now she has even more to tattle on him about.  Last week Dad fell twice.  He is taking some "anti-flu" medication and it makes him a bit groggy and unstable on his feet.  He fell the first time against Liz and the wall and skinned his left calf and his left butt cheek.  Then on Tuesday about midnight, he fell while messing with Mom and then going to the bathroom. 

Nancy was there that time and she couldn't get to him fast enough.  She thought he was going to sit back on the bed and at the last moment, he turned to go to the potty and he fell.  It wasn't too bad and Liz got a doctor appt with him for 10 am on Tues.  The doctor got him squeezed in and had x-rays taken.  She took a bunch to make sure he didn't break a hip.  Well he broke his ring finger, but not a hip.  He also had two fractured vertebra T4 and T5. 

We couldn't get him to the hand surgeon that day and we had to wait until Wednesday to see him.  The Hand dude decided that the best treatment was to put him in a cast for 6-8 weeks instead of surgery.  He said Dad would have about 80% of the use by doing the cast instead of surgery.  And it is Dad's "bad" hand so I made the decision to just do the cast thing.  The ortho guy said the fractured T4 & T5 were old injuries and if they weren't bothering him, we wouldn't do anything about that for now. 

I had to take the new van into get the lift today, so this week sometime we will have the van ready for Mom and Dad.  Dad has been so weak, we had to use the wheelchair for him and Liz had to lift him in and out of the van for all these doctor appts.

So as of right now we have both parents at home and Mom is sucking the life out of Dad.  He is looking not so good and she is looking better.  My good friend Kelley, got me a digital camera for my birthday and as soon as I get a chance to get it working I will send out some pictures of them (and dad's hand too).

Well, that's about all for now.

love and hugs from all the Texan's (the Dombrowski-Davis' not the football team of course)

Mary

Good Thursday AM to all of you!

Things are rocking and rolling here at E&E Elder Care Inc.  Mom is doing wonderful!  She is making alot of her needs known to us.  I don't know if she is getting better at communicating her needs or we are guessing what she wants faster than before.  As I said in a few e-mails before, we are idiots at times with figuring out what she wants.  Some of it is that we now know she wants things done and when she wants them done. 

For example.  Mom WANTS Dad to be in his jammies (PJ's, night clothes) by 7pm.  If he isn't, she isn't happy.  She wants to watch Emeril on the food network from 7-8pm, then it is time for bed.  We are using a peice of paper with YES and NO on it.  We will ask her a yes or no question and then she will point to the answer she wants.  Like last night, I asked her do you want to watch Emeril?  She pointed to yes.  So we switched from 60 minutes.  Also, yesterday Liz and I were talking during the 5pm news and they had a car chase, where there were lots of cars chasing a truck and the truck overtuned, Mom held up a hand to me to quit talking so she could hear the news.  In a nut shell, I think Mom is doing pretty well.  Knock on wood!

Dad on the other hand is a bit different.  He is extremely weak.  I went over yesterday to cook dinner and he was laying in bed in a very strange position.  It was like his butt was gonna fall off the side of the bed.  Liz and I tried to move him to sit better and to sit up so he could take his pills, but he just didn't have any strength to help us.  Liz had to beast him up and we had to pull the bed away from the wall so both of us could get in position to move him.  We finally got him up to a semi-ok position so he could eat.  He wouldn't feed himself.  I had to sit and feed him and he would not really open his eyes.  He would peek at me to see if it was me feeding him.  It took about 1/2 hour to feed him about half a dinner. 

We also are putting him on thicken fluids.  He seems to be coughing when he drinks regular fluids.  The doctor put him on another anti-depressant drug a few weeks ago, and that may be causing some of his tiredness.  He is also getting huge headaches.  The anitbiotic he is on gives him headaches and we looked at the drug profile for this new drug and it does too.  So we are gonna try to slack off on that drug to see what happens. 

It is like Mom has sucked the strength out of Dad and has it now.  She is stronger and he is weaker now.  Hopefully he will gain is strength back in a few weeks and she will get stronger too.  This pneumonia and flu has really zonked it out of him.  They had him confined to bed for a week and he can't even stand up by himself at this point in time. 

I will let you know how it is going and we hope for a speedy progress for Dad.

Love and hugs,  Mary

Good Morning,

Just wanted to give you an update on Dad.  He is still in the hospital.  The doctor called me late last night to give me an update on his condition.  She said that he "hasn't improved as she expected."  She felt that if the pneumonia was bacterial, that he would improve since he is on a pretty strong antibiotic (delivered via IV), so she thinks that this is a viral pneumonia. 

He had wheezing in the entire right lung where she had only heard it in a portion of the lung the evening he was admitted to the hospital.  She is going to call in a lung specialist to look at him and was going to give him another breathing treatment last night.  The first night she listened to his lung and only heard a small area of wheezing, he had had a breathing treatment shortly before.

I did visit him last night and he looked pretty good.  He has all the nursing staff at his beck and call and he loves it.  The staff call him "Angel" and he is on good behavior.  They say he is no problem and just love his eyes.  I was in the room and the nurses said, oh your his daughter, you have his beautiful eyes.  They just love him.

Mom was doing well also.  Liz accidentally let Anna's dog loose yesterday and he took off.  She went after him and they finally caught him when he was done running.  He ran out of the neighborhood on to a very busy street, but he was ok.  Liz said Mom was pretty happy yesterday and does not seem to be too bothered by Dad being gone.  He does bug her you know.  She also may know that he needs to be in the hospital since he was ill.  We just hope that he didn't pass this on to her or anyone else in the house hold, we don't need Liz or Anna sick too.

I will let you all know something when I do.  Keep us in your prayers.

Love,  M

Just a quick note to tell you that Mom got home from the hospital yesterday. She was looking better, but the dr. said her stomach was upset and she stopped the current antibiotic and will let us know what she wants to do with that.

Dad was real upset when I got there yesterday, he was crying real hard and was trying to tell me something and I finally got to hear it and it was "mom is dead"  and I told him "no, she is outside in the ambulance"  he didn't believe me and we had to walk out so he could see them bring her in the house.

Gotta run to a meeting, Y'all have a great day.

Love,  Mary

Hey to all of you!

I just wanted to let everyone know that Mom and Dad are doing well after the transition to Anna's house.  It has been a week and all is pretty good.  We have 2 sitters who are helping out with Mom's care.  Liz is there monday - friday and Sara is there on Sat and Sun.  They come a 7 am and leave at 7pm. 

Overall, Mom is getting stronger.  She looks good.  Her color is good and she is starting to really try to communicate with us using hand gesters and grunting noises.  Some times she makes noises if Dad is doing something wrong or something else is not right.  The othe day, Mom started making noises when Anna was in the bedroom helping Dad change his clothes from a accident.  Anna said the drawer was open just a little bit and Mom was making a noise and seeming upset.  Anna went over and closed the drawer and Mom was ok. 

Anna is a bit better at finding out the meaning of Mom's gestures.  Some are pretty easy, like she will point up at the light if she wants it off.  But the other day, she grabbed my right arm and kept squeezing it and moving her hand up and down my arm.  I never did figure out what she wanted.  I think maybe Dad was messing with her arm that way and she wanted him to stop, but I am not sure on that one.  Then there was one time she was adament that she wanted something and she started out by patting her chest over her heart, then she did the arm squeezing and then we finally figured out that she wanted to be changed.  Sometimes Anna and I feel pretty stupid not knowing what she wants and then she looks a little frustrated that we can't figure it out.

Yesterday, Sara was reading some of Anna's little books to Mom, and then she got this toy that you write on with a magnetic pen ( when you are done you slide a bar over the screen and erases it- I forget what you call them, but it is not an etchasketch), and Mom wrote her name a bunch of times.  Her signature was much better than it was a few months ago. 

Jerry and I are still working on the shower.  We have all the tile placed and need to grout the floor and around the soap dishes.  Jerry got the grab bars installed yesterday and got the shower knobs etc set up.  So not too much more to go.

We also had Mom and Dad out on Anna's back porch/patio yesterday afternoon and Mom was very anxious to get out the bed and into the wheelchair.  It must be hard to be in bed all the time and she loves the time out of bed, but it does tire her out when she is in the wheelchair.  She moves her left leg alot and her left arm alot.  She was sitting up pretty well yesterday and her she was holding her head up some of the time.  Way to go, Mom!

Dad is doing ok.  He had some problems last week with not getting to the potty on time.  I also changed his depends to a size Med.  Well, the large said it was for waist 44-54" and his is only 38", well he must need the extra room for pulling up and getting himself situated.  So he is back on the large size.  I did the same thing with Mom's and got her the mediums, but she needs the large ones for the leg room.  They gap alot around the waist, but Anna uses some tape and closes it up some.  It bugs Mom if it gapes.

Dad told me yesterday, that he dreads going back to Fl because it is a long trip.  So I told him not to worry about it and he can stay for a while here at Anna's and he was ok with that.  I brought over some of the amarylis (sp?) flowers that are blooming now.  Jerry and I call them Easter Lily's but they aren't the white ones, they are the colored ones.  We have alot of them blooming in our yard and I thought Mom would like them.  So I cut one stem that has 4 flowers in bloom and they are white and red.  Dad and Mom have some of the same one's at their home in Fl. 

Mom gave Anna some of the bulbs years ago and she passed some on to me.  So when I brought the flowers over yesterday, Dad asked me how the house was (in FL).  He thought I drove down there and cut the flower and come back to Anna's. I told him it was too far to go and that they were in my yard.  I also told Dad that Joan would be down there to check on the house this week. 

Well, gotta get back to work.  Chat at you later.

Love and hugs to all,

Mary

Hi to all.  Tom here from PA.

We could write a novel about all the twists and turns that happened, but as I type, Ed and Eleanore Dombrowski are now safely in TX.

Long story short, EVERY thing that we intended to do to move Ed and Eleanore to TX did not work the way we envisioned, but we found new ways to accomplish the various goals.  AND ALL INVOLVED ARE STILL ON SPEAKING TERMS!!!!!

Saturday morning started with Eleanore producing significant bowel movements (excuse the excessive detail) and that was her "get out of jail free" card). Ed was saying "I'm not going to TX" so it took a little bit of work to get him dressed and to the hospital to visit with Mom. 

Anna and Mary and Eddie went to the hospital to get a "taking care of Eleanore class" and the packers,  (Jerry -Mary's hubby), Jerry's friend Buddy, Mary's friend Kelly and Tom) went into overdrive and packed up the house with significant items (pictures,clothes, books, lamps, etc).  The packers were done before the bureacracy of the hospital was finished so we had to cool our jets before the trip began.  At 2:43 EST we got Eleanore sprung from the hospital, loaded into  a rental RV and we started west.

17 hours and 10 minutes later we arrived at Mary's house.  Eleanore was an ACE raveller with Mary, Anna and Kelly taking care of her.  Ed was WIRED.  He stayed up until he crossed into TX (23 hours without sleep, he knew that going to Mobile AL was not the direct way from the hospital to his house in Deltona).  But we got there safe and sound.

The biggest issue was how to get Eleanore out of the RV.  With a little help from the local EMS squad it was NOT A MAJOR problem.

So, Ed and Eleanore are now living at VOP in Houston. Anna and Mary have arranged private nursing care for them with the help of Kelly (see packing section and taking care of Eleanore en route section) and Lynda.  Mary and Anna now are shouldering the major load as they are at "ground zero" and it will be a learning experience for them.  I have a buddy at work who says "you got to give your kids a chance to show how good they can be" and I am 100% sure that Anna and Mary (with help from the extended Davis family and Joan and Tom/Mary Liz) will show how good they are by  take excellent care of Ed and Eleanore.

The old saying goes,  "be good to your kids, they pick your nursing home."  I think Ed and Eleanore were FABULOUS parents, and I only hope we have done enough for them.

We will continue to update the list of concerned friends and family.  The move to Texas is being viewed in the next step of Eleanore's recovery and we will take one day at a time and be thankful that both our parents are still with us.

As the siblings we can not thank you all enough for your help, prayers and support. WE WILL STILL NEED THEM ALL.

Thanks to all, 

P.S. Kelly and Buddy who were on this great adventure you were wonderful and need to be singled out and we hope that you win the lottery!!!!!  We will NEVER be able to thank you enough!!!!

HI TO ALL,  A quick update.  The Texans are in an RV in FL and heading to Deltona.  Mom in still in the hospital not having solid stool samples.  They are now ordering the tests tonight that they said they were going to do when we took her to the hospital onTuesday.  Stay tuned.  Tom 

Good Day Y'all,

Yesterday was a bit better for Mom.  She was much more alert, but she still has a tendency towards sleeping.  She may still be recovering from the stroke as well as adjusting to her new medicine.  At lunch on Friday, she ate farely well.  She was trying to eat on her own, but she kept trying to get too much on her spoon and tying to shove it in her mouth.  You try to tell her she has enough on her spoon, but she tries to get more.  They put her back to bed after lunch and then we returned for dinner.  I had to wake her up to eat and she was a bit lazy.  She didn't want to hold her spoon as usual and I had to feed her.  I told her she was being lazy making me feed her. 

She was also making faces when she was eating everything except the desert.  They had ground up hamburger for her and potato salad.  I don't think she liked the taste of them, because when I got to the desert, she was not making faces and she was eagar to eat.  So I think it just tasted bad. But the good news is that she kept down the food she ate.  She just may have had a 24 hour bug and it ran it's course. 

I spoke to the Dr. yesterday.  He kinda caught me off guard.  He call the staff there at dinner time and they came and got me so he could talk to me.  He was supposed to get in touch with us last week and all this week.   By this time, I had most of my questions answered, but he was able to tell me a few more things.  I asked him about flying with Mom to move her, and he said no, she was a high risk for blood clots in the legs because of her lack of movement.  I also asked about keeping her on the coumadin (blood thinner) and he said yes, she needed to stay on that the rest of her life (the physician's assistant told me they may take her off the coumadin and that sorta freaked me out.  The two times Dad got off his coumadin, was the two times he had his strokes.  Coumadin, is good, no coumadin is very bad).  He said he would come in to check on her since she had this bout of illness.  She was/is running a low grade feaver (which I didn't know about) to make sure it wasn't an infection.  He also said that we could move her when we planned, if all goes well, and they get this infection taken care of, if that is what it is).

That's about all for now.  Dad is doing well and so am I.  I will head back to Houston tomorrow, so Joan will be taking over the e-mails.

Love and Hugs to all,

Mary and Eddie

Thu 2/19/2004 7:27 AM

Good Morn Y'all,

What a beautiful day it was yesterday.  A bit on cool side, high of 52, but breezy, which made you want to keep a jacket on in the shade, but hot in the car.

All is pretty good here.  Dad is still snoozing and slept through the night.  I kept waking up and listening for him to be on the prowel but he wasn't.

Mom was very groggy yesterday.  I fussed at the staff about that (in the evening).  Julia, the nurse aid, said mom didn't get her dilantin until 10 am that that is making her very sleepy.  Julia said the pill nurse is gabbin too much and not getting the pills to the residents in a timely manor.  The pill nurse, said she had to get it an hour after her breakfast.  Mom was up for lunch, so to speak, but the speach therapist basically had to feed her, because she was too groggy.  We had Julia put her down after we left to sleep off the dilantin. 

Dad and I went back to see her at 5pm and she was fast asleep.  I had to shake her to wake he up to eat dinner.  Lori the RN was there and I spoke to her about the dilantin.  Lori said it should be taken on an empty stomach. I asked, if she could get it before breakfast, because it was interfearing with her entire day, taking it as late as 10 am.  She is unable to get any therapy if she is semi-comatose due to the lateness of getting a pill.  I am not too sure why it is making her so sleepy.  If you look at the drug side effects on the net about dilantin, it really says the sleepiness occurs at high doses.  The staff told me she wasn't on a high dose of it at all.  But I don't know if it is reacting with another one of her pills that is making her more sleepy when she takes it.  Lori said she would look into it since she is so sleepy during the day.  I just wonder if she is awake at night because of it.  Tina the evening tech said she also complained to the nurses about the lateness of the pills and that Mom wasn't getting them properly.

So if anyone wants to visit mom, she may be very sleepy during the day. Perhaps the best visiting would be right at noon or 12:30 since she has to be semi-awake to eat.

That's about all for today, since I don't have much to talk about since it is a bit boring talking about Mom sleeping.  Oh, when I woke her for dinner, she did look good.  Her eyes were bright and she looked her normal self (that is normal after the strokes).  I had her interested in looking at some family pictures and she was doing that until we had to leave to get Dad fed.

Y'all have a great day.

Love,  Mary and Ed

Hey Y'all,

All is well down here in FL.  I spoke with the nurses yesterday and they were a bit encouraging.  Melanie, the occupational therapist, said she was amazed that Mom didn't slide back too much with her Occ therapy after this past stroke.  She said she is physicallly not as good as she was before the last stroke, but she didn't loose too much with her fine motor skills and is excited that she can still feed herself.  Mom is still having a bit of a time trying to get the food on the spoon and is having some tremors and the food falls off, but as Melanie says, she has a great appatiate and is trying to eat.

Mom can't really sit up very well at this point.  She lost alot of the muscle tone it takes to keep herself upright.  She has done alot of sleeping after the last stroke and that has made those muscles weak again.  They are sitting her in a specialized recliner that is more a recliner than a wheelchair.  Mom seems not to be using (i.e. propping herself up) with her right arm.  Before, she was applying some pressure on the right side and that was holding her up some on the right side.

They have stopped her physical therapy and I waiting to talk to the MD to find out why they have totally stopped.  I think she can do a few minutes a day to keep up her muscle tone.  Melanie is still doing her streching excersise to keep up some of the tone.

I made her some pictures of the family with our names on the pages and then I laminated them.  She likes to look at them and I also made some that have a few words like, yes, no, stop, water, sick, hungry and she likes to look at them.

Kuddos to Anna.  She worked real hard with Dad to keep him from poking at Mom and he really didn't do that at all yesterday!!!  We were there 3 hours and only once did she swat at him, when he was holding her hand.  She wanted to look at the pictures and he had her hand.  Yea Anna!!  We will see if that was a fluke yesterday, or he has finally clued in that she doesn't want him to poke at her.

Dad has been sleeping well during the night since I got here.  That is good.  Dotty says he looks a bit more rested.  I think he gets out of sync sometimes and needs to get readjusted to everyones different routine when our shift changes.

I got Dad new blades in his razor and got him all shaved up.  And I got him one of those "personal groomers" that you see advertized on TV.  It looks like a stick and it majically makes hair disappear.  It really works to get those longer hairs that he misses when he shaves.  I sat him in his recliner and plugged in the electric razor and went after him, and he liked it.  So we got a good shave yesterday.

Not much else going on here.  I may try to juice some of the oranges this week.  It is a bit of work, but the juice is good.  The tree is loaded and you really hate to see them wasted.  The last time I was here, I got about 2.5 gals made.  I guess it was about 200 or so oranges.  It filled the kitchen trash bag with the skins.  Trash day is this am, so I missed the boat to get rid of them for this week's trash. Oh, well, Joan can take it next week.

When I spoke with the nurse, and told her that we would like to take Mom to Houston the first week in March, she thought that was doable, but we have to get the Dr. to release her.  She is pretty stable with her meds now.  She is taking dilantin for the seizures and they had to get that and the coumadin stable.  The dilantin makes the coumadin work better, so they have to readjust.

We are going to move them to Tx via a RV.  Mom can't sit up for longer than a few hours (3) at this time and when I came here the other day, it was about 8 to 9 hours from when I left home to when I got here.  So we are looking at RV rentals.  We have to wait a bit to rent one in Houston.  We have this thing called a Rodeo.  Right before the rodeo, they have all these trail rides where people get on horses and ride the different trails to Houston.  Some are longer than others and some are short.  They all start at different times then they meet up in Memorial Park and have a big party and ho-down, then a rodeo parade.  Well, all the RV's are rented out for the last week in Feb.  I guess the RV is the covered wagon of the 2000's.  Gotta keep the urban cowboys comfey when they travel. 

I will keep you up to date on how stuff is going here.

Love to all,

Mary and Ed

2/16/05

Mom looks pretty ok today.  Her eyes are bright and she is doing fairly well.  She has digressed after the last stroke on Feb 2, but she is ok.  She won't sit up as long as she did before and now she is having a little trouble swallowing.

Dad is good, I got him new blades for his electric shaver (the old one) and it works much better and I got him looking pretty good.

I am still trying to get to talk to the doctor.  Lori (the RN at DM) said she know we want to talk to him and he has been busy and will give him till tomorrow to call us, then she will start to bug him.  She said according to her it would be ok to move mom the first week in March, but as she says, she isn't the doctor.  So the tenative plan will be to get an RV (the therapist said she can't sit up for longer than a few hours and the plane trip would be too long for her to sit without laying down for a while). 

We can get it On wednesday after work (March 3rd) and have Anna, Mary Jerry Kelley and Buddy/Donnie and head to fl.  We can go a ways that night and finish up on Thurs.  This leaves us Friday to pack and move out.  We can get rid of Dad at Dottie and Frank's and pack the RV & a pull behind trailer.  We get Dad and leave from their to get Mom at DM.  We will have their car and 2 can drive the car behind the RV.  So we would have Tom, Jerry, Mary, Kelley Mom, Dad and maybe a nurse in the RV. 

Anna and Buddy could drive the car (or we can swap out people in the car).  We haul ass to TX and Dad and Anna would go to her house while we un pack mom and the trailer.  After the Apt is set up we bring dad to VOP.

Joan would stay in Atl and come down spring break to finish up the house.

Joan would be here next week (Feb 23)

Tom would do Dad care/moving the week of Mar 1 and Tom could go home from houston on Sunday after the move.

So here is a tentative or first stab at an RV moving plan.

Love and hugs to all,

Mary

 Hi Everyone,

I had a meeting with the staff at DM today, and learned about the "incident" last week.  The official diagnosis is a second stroke (CVA), not just grand mal seizures or a ministroke (TIA).  This was from the report on the CT scan from the emergency room.  Her entire left side of the brain is "gone," particularly the parital and temporal portions.  I have no idea what those do in particular.  The DM staff did not know what caused the seizures.  They requested that the doctor either meet with me at DM tomorrow or Friday, or at least call me if we are not at there at the same time.  The staff will try to give me an estimated time he will be there, but they say this is sometimes very not accurate as if emergencies come up, it throws off his schedule. 

The decision on when she can travel is the doctor's also.  Right now she is very tired and recouperating from both the second stroke and the seizures, which are both hard physically.  So the regression in her progress was due to a stroke, which makes a lot of sense. 

Right now she has the desired therapeutic levels of dilantan in her blood with taking 200 mg 2x per day.  They are still adjusting the coumadin.  The dilantan may or may not be for the rest of her life.  They will probably try to take her dosage down and see how she responds, but that would not be for at least 6 months.  She will be on the coumadin forever. 

The physical therapist has terminated the therapy, as she had plateaued before the second stroke.  He has shown the nursing staff how to manipulate her bad leg and arm to keep the muscle tone up, but he said that she will probably always need 2 people working together to get her in and out of chairs and beds.  They will teach us how to do this before she leaves for Houston.  She still is receiving occupational and speech therapy. 

Joan,  Medicare Part B will pay 80% of her therapy costs, so you will receive a bill for her daily rate plus the 20% of the therapy costs from DM. 

Frances Brown came to visit Mom this afternoon, and as soon as Mom saw her, she gave Frances a big smile and waved to her.  That's the first time anyone has seen her wave to anyone.  Frances also brought a bouquet of flowers which Mom found very interesting.  She took the bouquet in her good hand, looked it all over, turning it around to see all sided and smelled it.  Thanks so much, Frances. 

Later I also offered Mom a Woman's Day magazine.  She took it, laid it in her lap, and went through it page by page.  She was turning the pages herself until she got too many in her hand.  She was also trying to manage it not falling between her legs at the same time.  Then I would start to turn each page lifting the corner about an inch or two, and she would take it and finish opening it herself.  She would then indicate when she was finished by jerking her hand up and down a bit, kind of a tremble. I would offer her the next page's corner, and the process would repeat.  Some pages she looked at longer than others.  The impression I got was of someone scanning to see if there was anything interesting and going on to the next page.  She was moving her head appropriately also as she was scanning the  pages.  She wasn't interested in the print, but seemed to be focusing on the pictures.  She got through about 3/4 of the magazine when the nurse came to put her back into bed. 

This was 3:30 pm, and she was beginning to look really tired and had slumped down uncomfortable in her wheel chair.  That's also the longest she has stayed awake after lunch since the second stroke. 

Daddy is doing better about not bothering her so much.  Unfortunately (or not) on Monday I lost my temper and lightly slapped his hand when he was bothering her with his dirty handkerchief.  She absolutely hates that and screws up her face and pushes his hand away with her good hand, but he doesn't respect that.  He is very loving with her and he bothers her to get a reaction from her, but the reaction he gets is not what he wants.  He wants her to talk to him like she used to, and she can not any more.  So when this happened yet again for the umpteenth time that day, I lost my temper, slapped his hand, and said sharply, "Don't do that. She is telling you no."  At the time I was kind of mortified that I'd done that, but you know, he's been much better since then.  He doesn't even try it nearly as much, and when I tell him to stop he does.  I'm trying to educate him that she can't talk, but her pushing his hand away means no.  He seems to be catching on. 

Well, that's about all for today.  Take care and many thanks for your prayers and support.

Hugs, Anna

2/5/05

Y'all I did some calling around for RV's.  Ran into a little problem.  They are all booked up for the end of February and don't have availability until March.  We have a little thing called Rodeo going on and the end of Feb is when all the trail rides occur.  Those lazy ass "cowboys" ride on the horses during the day and sleep etc in those fancy RV's.  So I guess RV's are the covered wagons of the 2000's.

So they are available after the first of March and I found a good place with good rates. The 27 foot ones run $700-$750 a week.  and they have their prices on the web page.  The weekly rentals come with 700 free miles and then it is .25/mile after.  M&D's is around 1050 one way so, if you say 2200 miles - 700 = 1500 X 0.25 = $375.00 for the extra miles.

The gas is of course on your own.

The big issue is that they say there is not any RV's that will accommodate a wheel chair through the door.  So Mom would have be gotten into the RV someway other than in a wheelchair.  That may be a deal breaker right there.  You could maybe use a back board (what they carry patients on in ambulances and on TV).  You would secure the patient, pick up the back board and carry them to the bed.

I think Anna and I would have to look at them to see if there are any that would work for us.

Hope y'all are having a good day.

M

Tuesday, February 03, 2004 11:51 AM

I just spoke with the physician's assistant for Mom.  She said that mom opened her eyes for her while she was examining her (just moments before I called) and her lungs sounded good and overall she was stable.  She may sleep as long as 24 hours to recover from the seizures and she is on dilantin and was on valium at the hospital.  These drugs will make her sleepy.   

She has order the therapy to continue and her same meals.  The dr. said that Mom was on coumadin (the blood thinner drug) since she had the stroke and was not ever taken off of it.  They will have to do some adjustments to her meds in that the dilantin will make the coumadin work better, so that she may not need as much coumadin. 

I asked if they knew what caused the seizures and she said at this time, no.  When they brought mom back to DM, they did not get a copy of her chart.  The Dr. at DM said that they will order a copy of it for the chart at DM.  But she said again that she didn't have a stroke yesterday.

Will keep you up to date as I hear. 
Love,  Mary

2/11/05

Mary,

Look at this website http://www.patienttravel.org/ They could help find deeply discounted seats to move people like Mom. It may be worth a call. Love,JO

2/11/05

Hey everyone, 

Thanks Jo for the website.  I had looked at it before.  The issue with this 1.  It is for people who can't afford to fly and are more in the poverty realm of the spectrum.  2nd, is that it is intended to provide treatment options for the person traveling.  For instance, if you live in an area and there is one doctor who will treat you and you can't get that treatment anywhere else, they will help to get you there.  One instance would be if you had a child with brain tumor who was underprivileged and lives far away from a cancer center, they would pay for the weekly travel to and from the center.

Unfortunately, Mom and Dad aren't in the poverty level of finances and we aren't transporting her to get special treatment.  Good thought though, I ran across this before and inquired.

On another subject, sorta, Mom and the move and living etc.

Last night Kelley, her Mom - Naomi, and I met with a friend of theirs Lynda.  Lynda's job is to find housing for the elderly and to help find the proper care for them.  We had a very good meeting and Lynda has some good ideas that we didn't think of.  But first I did some research.

Well, first off, I want to say that when we wanted to move Mom (pre second stroke), I think the situation was a little different and we had a different outlook on her prognosis.  So now I am not too sure what to do with them.  On one hand, I keep talking to the people at VOP and their Home Health staff, and they assure me they can handle Mom, and they say with the amount of care she needs, they will be in their apartment all the time, most likely as much time as they are with Mom at  DM.  Then, sometimes I think that we may need a private duty nurse/aide to be there all the time, so someone one can keep a watch on Dad with Mom. 

I did some calling around and found out how much a companion/sitter would be to stay with Mom and Dad to keep Dad occupied.  I had an eye opening experience.  To have a sitter stay with Dad for 8 hours it costs anywhere from $14.00/hour to $16.00/hour with a 4 hour minimum each day you need them.  If you do the math at $14.00/hour/40 hours a week/ for 4 weeks (one month) the cost is $2240.00 a month.  Now this is a person who is "hands off" with care.  This is just a sitter and would do nothing for Mom.  And you would still pay for the help with Mom which I have calculated to be about $1500.00 (a bit high I think than actual cost, but using this for a round figure). So if you had the VOP do Mom and a "sitter" for Dad, the cost would be $3740/month without the rent, which is $2395.00/ month which brings your monthly cost to $6135.00 a month.  I don't think their finances would last long at all under this situation.  So all in all I don't think getting a private sitter for Dad will not work financially, for the long haul.

Now the home health staff said they would be in their apt. all the time.  Would that be enough to keep them from having Dad fuss with Mom? I don't know.  He may get to VOP and find some manly friends and be out of there or he may find a place to sit and people watch (like by the fire place in the main hall) and be happy as a clam.  At this time, I just don't know.  Would could have Dad at one of our homes during the day, but you would still have to have someone there with him, I don't think he can stay totally alone for 8-12 hours a day.  Same money thing, paying for care for both of them.

Lynda has an interesting proposal for us to think about.  She said you could rent a 2 bedroom apartment (on the first floor near our homes, which there are a lot of them in our neighborhood just as close as the VOP), and hire round the clock care (approx 3 nurses) and provide them with the second bedroom and board and some cash.  Lynda said that she know a few people who have done this.  You offer them a fixed amount of cash I.e. $2500.00 a month to care for M&D.  They take shifts say, 3 days on 2 days off and they rotate.  They sleep there and are there if M&D need care during the night.  They split the cash and they have free room and board.  Interesting.  Didn't know you could do that.  So you would have personal M&D care in an apartment for approx $4000/month (estimating high with a $1000.00 rent and $1000 utilities and food - which I think that would be very high).  Lynda knows nurses that do this and really like the situation.  They are nurses that are from another country (like South Africa), who are not licensed to work in the states, but were in their country.

Now, you could also save some money and this could be done in my house, but I would have to do some remodeling before they could live downstairs, our spare room is too small to have a wheelchair and the room would need to enlarged to encompass the entire garage and you would have to add a separate ac/heater (the portable one's just won't do for long term living in that space).  We would have to enlarge one of the doors between the kitchen and the living room since I don't think we could get a wheel chair through that door way.  It is not a support wall (by the desk) and would be pretty easy to do.  We would also have to make a ramp to get into the house.  As Jerry says some of this is a piece of cake.  We could use Emily's old room for the nurses room.  This option would be good, in one respect in that Jerry and I are there also, to keep an eye on the nurses and would be able to do something if the next shift didn't show up.  And the other advantage would be that you don't have to pay for M&D's rent in an apt or VOP.

Lynda, also knows a great shrink who deals with the elderly and makes home visits.  And she lives out near us, so she could see M&D (mostly Dad) on her way home from her office.  Lynda also has great contacts for therapy.

We also had a big big talk on how to move Mom to TX.  One thing that she told me is that her mom (who is not in the same shape as Mom, but has a lot of the same issues we have) is not allowed to fly at all because of the potential of developing blood clots in her legs.  Since we don't know why Mom had a second stroke and don't know if she had a blood clot (the most common form of stroke) cause this new stroke, she may not be able to fly.  Lynda had a lot of helpful hints about transporting her in the RV and thought that may be a good way to transport her if we can't put her on the plane.  One thing now, is that Mom isn't sitting as long as she was when the first plan was formed.  So I don't know if she could tolerate the sitting time from getting her ready at DM, the hour trip to the airport, the 2 hour wait (or so) to get on the plane and thought the security, and then the 2.5 hour plane trip, then the time to deplane, get through the airport and then the 1/2 hour trip to the VOP.  I think she would be up for about 6-7 hours at a minimum for the plane trip. She may be getting better and in a few weeks she may be able to tolerate that amount of time, but from Anna's last e-mail, I am not too sure she could now.

So, in summary, all I can say is that I am totally confused.  I think our original plan is a good one, but I don't know now with her having a second stroke, not just seizures, if that is the best plan for their overall care and transport.  I just don't know.  Maybe I will know better after I see her on Sunday.  I just don't know at this moment in time.

I hope I haven't upset anyone.  I really didn't mean to if I did, I just feel pretty bad knowing this was a second stroke, and these are just some of my concerns.  Maybe it is your turn to tell me it will be OK.

Oh, and Lynda's big thing she said to me is that we need to get a medical power of attorney for her as soon as possible and we shouldn't move her at all without one, especially if Dad is not traveling with her. Lynda said you can pick one up Office Depot or get one on the internet and print it out and do the get Mom to sign it in front of the notary republic at DM.   I tried to find one on the net, but couldn't find one for free.

Gotta run to a meeting.

M

1/15/04

Hey Everyone,  I got an update on mom from my brother who is down there now and thought I would pass it on.  There hasn't been a lot to talk about down there and Dad has not been to good and he now doesn't like you to get on the computer or the phone when you are there with him.  Our plan is to move them to Houston the first week of Feb to an assisted living place about a mile from Anna's and my homes.  

Hope all is well with all of you and I will keep you updated. See Below.

Love,  Mary

We had a good day today. It started off kind of on a shaky note as dad said he was sick. He complained of soreness in his legs and across his shoulders (back).  He also said he was cold. I ran through the warning signs of a heart attack and he said he wanted to go back to bed. He did and slept until the cleaning lady came. He felt better so we went with the plan.

Nothing unusual with Aunt Jay. He definitely has little tolerance for his foibles. I can see how she gets under his skin. He also feels like he is declining fast. She is definately bummed watching his decline. She was saying things like he was so smart, now look at him.

Anyway we got back to DM and mom had her eyes closed. It looked like she was trying to get to sleep after here pm workout. Dad did not get the idea of just sitting here and letting her sleep. He was clicking his fingernails in her ears, making a whooshing sound, etc. I took him outside for a while and then we came back in after 45 minutes. Mom was awake and had been changed.

The big news is that Mom turned her head to look at the picture wall!! I had not seen her do that. She was laying down looking toward the other bed. I had been going through some pictures that i had brought down and thought that i should get some of the board on the wall, as she had not seen them in a while (at least since i was there.) Anyway i was pulling a few off the board and after about 2-3 minutes i turned around and she was looking right at me. She had turned he head to see what i was doing. I know her head position was big deal to the PT guy at the hospital and that was the first time i saw her do that. So i think that was good.

From what i have seen is that he really wanted to be with mom at DM. He is not comfortable without here at home. But when we do take him to see her he is not really helpful. I think that mom is distracted by us when we come in during her PT session. And he can not sit still and just hang when she is not in PT. I have found the best time for them to be together is at lunch when they can both be eating. In the evening he is "klicking" at her, "whooshing" at her, putting his hat in her face, saying "are you sleeping on the floor?" I think he is annoying her.

 Anyway, i will end now. Take care, Love to all. tom

Hey Y'all I just wanted to give a short update on Mom for you.  The past few weeks we have had a few WONDERFUL relatives giving us a hand at helping out in Fl with Dad.  Mom's computer got a virus and they had to reformat the hard drive so the e-mail address have been erased and no one had had the info to put it back in Mom's e-mail account.

Joan also didn't have too much good news about Mom. She saw her late saturday afternoon and they had already put Mom back to bed. They had her up waiting for company, but they didn't get there till 3pm. Joan arrived at 11:30, then had to take Aunt Rita to the airport. But Joan said that mom was feeding herself and she had pulled the spoon out of the woman's hand when she went to feed her, so Mom feed herself the dinner.  She may get her feeding tube out soon since she is getting most of her nutrition by feeding herself and not using the feeding tube.  So that is very good progress!! 

She hasn't seen the therapy and what is happening with that. She will do that today. Joan did ask the nurse on sunday, if mom had gained any upper body strenth and she said no. Also, Joan felt that Mom was worse since she hasn't seen her in the past 3 weeks and now is positioning her body in a backwords S. She is keeping her head to one side and drawing her legs up. So I am not too sure if Mom will get much better. Joan will ask about her progress and prognosis.

But from what I have heard, is that Mom does alot of resting on the weekends because of the work she does during the week.

Hope all is well with all of you and our family wishes the best this holiday season.

Either Joan or I will keep you in the information loop. 

Love,  Mary

Nov 25, 2003

Hey Sibs,

Mary you can edit this and then send it on to the people on Mom's list. Computer is still in the shop. He is adding Windows 98 and tried to put 64kbs instead of 32 memory, but it wouldn't take. So, he will have it ready tomorrow. It will work, but be a little slow. That doesn't matter really. Hopefully, I will be able to get the internet connected.

Took Dad to do the power of attorney, so that is done. That lawyer kept cutting me off and wasn't too interested in talking. She suggested we do a trust for Dad - to keep stuff out of probate. She gave me a brochere, but we don't have to decide now. Dad seemed alert enough for them to agree to do it.

Mom seemed more alert today. They seemed pleased with her progress today.  She is looking more midline and to the right. The PT guy told met to do some things with her while she is in the bed - like move her good leg back and forth. She tends to keep it with her knees up, and he wants it to be flat so it doesn't get so stiff. Also, he said to take the pillow away from her to practice her lowering her head flat. That forward lean is a big problem.

The speech lady wasn't able to work with feeding, because she was still in bed when she came. She is working on communication - and not getting much in the way of that. She tried to get her to hold up fingers - like 1, 2 etc. without success. So, .... They will do the swallow test Friday.

Got to run. Left Dad with a snack in the car. Am going to take him to eat for the anniversary. There is a place on the river right down from the center that we will check out. We got Mom some roses and I got Dad that chair pad. I told him Happy Anniversary for that.

He's hanging in. He slept close to 12 hours last night. Guess he needed it. He said he went looking for Mom in the garage during the night, but he didn't come to my room.

Will meet with the directors tomorrow. So, I will have more to report tomorrow.

Love, JO

Thursday, Nov 13

Good Evening,

Got off the phone with Aunt D.  She really didn't have much to say today.  She said when they got there that Mom was in the wheel chair in the main area and that the Dr. came to see her while they were there. Also,  Dotty and Frank were there and they said that Mom threw up.  Aunt D asked the nurse and the nurse had just come on shift and didn't know. So Aunt D is going to ask the nurse tomorrow.

Aunt D and Uncle Bob took Dad to the dermatologist.  He had a scheduled appt. but when I was there, he got a rash on his stomach.  I had been putting on the stuff in the purple tube that we used for his rash on his legs and the Dr. to her that was the wrong cream, so he prescribed a different one.

Today is Uncle Bob's birthday,  So happy, happy birthday to you!  They all went out to Denny's to celebrate.  Then as they were leaving, Dad went up to a total stranger, pulled up his shirt and startted tell him about his gallbladder sugery.  Aunt D told him that the guy wasn't really interested so they moved along.

Well that's about it for the update that I got from Aunt D.

Hope all of you have a great day or evening.

Love,  Mary and the pets (Jerry is off on a side job installing a sink)

Saturday, Novemeber 9th

Hi Y'all,

This will be my last e-mail to you from Fla. I am going home tomorrow. Aunt Dolores and Uncle Bob are coming today. They haven't gotten here yet, but they are on their way.

Dad and I went to see Mom pretty early today and stayed till 4 pm. Dad was pretty tired and he is now sitting in the garage (and has been since we came home) waiting for Aunt D and Uncle B.

Mom was ok today. There really wasn't any change. She was awake a little more than she was yesterday. They only did a few minutes of therapy today and she will get some tomorrow. Oh, and I clipped her toe nails and painted them pink for her. I showed her the polish and she put her foot up for me to do it. So I went ahead and did it.

Well I am off to Texas tomorrow. I doubt that Aunt D will do the e-mails, so I will call her everynight and send out an update from TX. It won't be first hand stuff, but it will be something.

Y'all take care,

Love, Mary and Ed

Thursday, November 6th

Hey Y'all. Not much happening today. Dad and I went to Walmart to get her some clothes to wear at the rehab center. I got her some more of those snap down light robes to wear and one heavy robe for the winter with snaps. I also got a few pairs of pull over night gowns. She normally wears long PJ's and they wont work with her catheter. The doctor is not sure if they will leave the catheter in her or if they will take it out. If they take it out, she can't go to the bathroom yet and will need the depends and they will have to change her every two hours to keep her skin from breaking down. They said she can wear shorts there and thread the catheter through the leg of the shorts.

Today she did some occupational therapy. The therapist tied an apron on her that had buttons, a zipper, a pocket and a shoe lace. Mom worked on the buttons and did them with her left hand. She also had to pick up some large pegs and place them in the pocket. Then she had to take the pegs out of the pocket and put them in a peg board. She did real well with that.

Jan is also teaching her to turn her self over in bed. It is still hard for her, but she is giving it her all. He did the sit up thing again and she was a bit tired today and really couldn't hold herself up.

When we were leaving today she took her left arm and pulled Dad's head to her so she could kiss him and when she did that, she also straightened out his collar!! She can't resist taking care of him when she is ill.

That is about all that happened today. I fixed Dad and me a turkey pot pie from leftovers that I found in the frig. I cut up a few potatoes and put them in with the turkey and veggies and cooked it for an hour. And the potatoes were rock hard. Oh, well, next time I will cook the potatoes before I put them in the pie. Live and Learn, but Dad didn't complain at all.

Talk at y'all tomorrow and hope all is well with all of you.

Love, Mary and Eddie

Tuesday, Nov 4th

Hey Y'all,

Everything here is going well.  Mom was doing great today.  When we got to the hospital today after running to the grocery store they were just bringing Mom back from PT.  When we walked in she had just finished looking at a magazine and turning the pages.   The therapist (Jan - pronounced Yon), did some more exercises in the bed.  I thought for sure that Mom was going to sleep, but she stayed awake for the entire time we were there except for a cat nap of ten minutes.  We come home at 5 pm to get supper ready for Dad.

Mom really looked good today.  Later in the afternoon, Jan, came back and was having her sit up.  She did it without help for a few seconds.  Most of the time she was leaning on Jan, but there for a second or two she was on her own.  She is recognizing people when they come into the room and she is turning her head to look at who it is coming into the room.

I spoke with the case worker, Annette,  and she said that they were going to send her to the rehab place on Monday.  Jan wants to work with her some more before he ships her off.  I am going to see DM tomorrow morning.  The house keeper is coming tomorrow at 10:30 to 11 so that gives me time to run there in the am and see the place.  We most likely wont get to see mom until 1 or so.

That's about all I can think of for now.

Love,  Mary and Ed

This is my last full day of looking after Eddie while Eleanore is in the hospital. This will be my last letter before my sister, Mary, takes over.

This has definitely been a good week for Eleanore. I think that I have learned that Eleanore is looking at a long road to recovery, but that she is on the road to recovery. From a day-to-day perspective the improvements are not large. But when I review the entire week that I was here I think that she made steady improvement. All of you who have been involved with stroke victims before know that each stroke is different so only time will tell with Eleanore's.

This week she made progress. Some steps were small, but important. When I first saw her last Sunday her eyeballs were sharply focused to the left (like she was trying to see something out of the corner of her eye.) They have been working with her on this and her eyes are not so leftward looking and she can follow moment from left to right. She can certainly move her left arm with purpose and they have her moving rings from side to side across and arc, and they have her stacking cones. Good progress. She is pushing back with vigor with her left leg and she able to push back a little bit with her right leg. Good progress. She is definitely more animated for longer parts of the day (but she can still be asleep for major parts of the visiting hours, but it has been reported that she has been up all night watching the food channel.)

When I came last week I tried to read to her out of an Erma Bombeck book. She was asleep in a few pages. Now I have to stop because I need a break. Good progress. When she is very awake you can see the emotion in her face. She "smiles" when something would make her smile (like a story about her grandson) and she frowns when I tell her some to the things that Eddie is doing. Today we said the rosary and she was able to keep track of the entire 50 "Hail Marys" on her beads. I most certainly think she understands what is happening, she just can not speak.

Her next step from the hospital will be to a rehab center. It may happen on Thursday November 6th or it may be a sometime after that. We think that we have located a rehab center who has worked with patients in her condition before. We will wait until Mary gets a look at the places before we make our final selection. Again, all strokes are different but at one place I met a man who 3 months ago was just like Eleanore. He could not move half his body, he was on a feeding tube and he was not able to talk. When I met him he was waking with a cane, eating regular food and talking very well. We can all hope and pray that Eleanore's recovery continues at a steady pace and she is able to do full range of activities in the coming months.

Eddie is doing OK, but he is definitely bothered by the site of his bride in the hospital. He is showing his love and devotion in many ways. But he wants her home. He will just have to be patient.

The next e-mail will be from Mary. Thanks for all the kind words. Keep the prayers coming. Your support means the world to Eleanore and Eddie.

Tom and Eddie

HI, Today is Monday, October 27th.

I am using theWord Perfect feature to see if I can type a message off line and then send it on line. It should not be difficult, but I will see if I can do it. I d of hate to be online and composing while I am tying up the phone line.Dad and I got the hospital a little bit after 9am and Mom was looking very wide awake. She seemed very like she was following us around with her eyes. She was furrowing her eyebrows too. I took some pictures off the wall and handed them to her and she took them and moved them closer to her eyes, like she was trying to get it in focus for her trifocals. When she was finished with one she shook it pretty hard and I took it away from her. That seemed to be what she wanted to happen.

I had a long talk with Glen the head nurse for the SNU. He was very helpful and he gave me the name of the neurologist. He strongly suggested that I call him and find out what there is to find out. He said there was not a whole lot in the file at this point and that was pretty typical as they don't do the final write up until the end. I will try calling the neurologist today. I also met Naimi, the tech. She is a Jamaican and is very talkative. She wanted to know about our family. I also met the physical therapist, Jan. He was going to take Mom downstairs for a therapy session, but Mom was asleep. (Around 10:30-11). He said he would come back at 11:45. Mom woke up around 11:20 and as Jan was coming in it was time for Naimi to give Mom a "sponge bath" and for her to get meds, so we left. Naimi said she would check on the meds that Mom got overnight.

Jan was very helpful in therms of the PT. He saw a whole lot of difference in the way that Mom's left leg was working versus her right leg. The left leg is purposeful while the right leg is more like a reflex action. He said it was better than nothing, but it was not a purposeful movement. He did say that she was going to have to start at essentially square one in terms of using her body, like a baby. He also said that if the cognitive section of the brain is still intact that nothing is impossible. Also Glen said that in terms of recovery from a stroke we are really talking a year before the plateau is reached and improvements are not made.

So, I got a general upbeat feeling from them. The social worker, Annette, will not be back until Wednesday so I guess that I will be seeing her then.  I also got the feeling the that the 7-10 day stay is hard and fast. I don't think Annette will say, well today (Wednesday) is day 6 so tomorrow is day 7, so where do you want her.

Dad has been saying, "I don't know what I will do with Mom" so I am going to take this as an opening to take him to the rehab centers so that we can check them out together.

Speaking of Dad he was sitting in the recliner and it tipped over and he got a small cut on his head. He was watching TV (History Channel about B 17's) and he was dosing in and out. He just was over on the side of the chair and he just must have tipped over too far. I guess we will have to try to get him used to the couch.

Tom

Hi Anna,  It sounds like you got a clear priority of the rehab centers.  I am sure that she would be very comfortable in the JK center and I am equally as sure that the last place on the list would appear very chaotic to her.  It sounds like you did a good job of sorting them out.

I guess we will just have to wait and see what is available when the timing is right.  I definitely had good vibes from the second place on your list (no opinion at all on the third as it was just a drive by.)  So it sounds like we got some really fine choices for Mom and we will just have to see what develops.

As for the finances of them I do not see that any of them are a problem especially with the insurance.  It sounds like insurance will cover a large portion of the cost for the initial time that she is in (if not all) and even if they did not cover it all M+D can certainly supplement it.  So i would say this is a good time to spend the rainy day fund as the more rehab she gets the better she will be.

I had a talk with my boss to tell him that I would be missing a meeting on Monday and he was very understanding. It seems that a very similar thing happened to his father when he was 81.  An "elective" surgery on his carotid artery to prevent "the big one". His father had the stoke in the recovery room and my boss said it looked bleak.  He could not move his left leg or arm.  He was able to speak and he swore he would be living on his own in 3 months.  My boss said he worked very hard and his motivation was to live in his house without any help.  My boss said that he didn't think it was possible, but he was home in 6 weeks.

I can see that Mom would have a similar motivation of living at home on her own again.  I would say that we should do nothing to tell her otherwise.  I think we need to be careful and describe any assisted living centers in TX, or staying at Mary + Jerry's as temporary. The desire that she will be living on her own may very well be what allows her to do exactly that.

So i guess we need to "hope for the best and prepare for any eventuality".  Not quite ready for the bumper stickers yet.

So Anna, it sounds like you did a good job arranging for the next step out of the hospital.  Keep up the good work.  Hang in there and don't let yourself get run down either physically or mentally. 

Tom

Sent: Wed 10/22/03 11:39 AM

Subject: Re: List of Questions

Hi,

I'll see how much I can get done on this, but it's not too easy working in the hospital room.  There is really no desk-type place to work.  After coming home in the late afternoon and having to fix dinner, send emails, phone people, I'm bushed.  I often fall asleep in a chair in the evening well before Dad is ready for bed.  I'll try to do this in the mornings before we go to the hospital. 

Today Dottie and Frank came over and stayed with Dad while the house cleaner Betty was here, and I went over to the rehab place JK facility.  I had filled out the form correctly and talked with the administrator and the nurse in charge of evaluation for admissions.  Everything is cool except they cannot guarantee that they will have a free bed on the day she is released from the hospital.  They suggested having backup places selected.  So I went to the 2 nearby that you and I did not get to tour on Saturday, Tom.  My list in order of preference is

1)    JK ($250/day)

2)    OCN & Rehab  ($160/day) this is the place with the nice grounds we walked into, Tom.  This was rated 5-star by the paper in 2002, whereas JK was only 4-star

3)   DBM ($105/day) Tom, this is the place that looked like a former motel.  It was much nicer on the inside.  The unit mom would be in is a separate building behind that front motel-like building.  

4)    DH - the zoo-like place - definitely last place.

Websites to check out:

www.myziva/net

www.fdhc.state.fl.us/nhcguide

http://www.medicare.gov/

Gotta get Dad dinner.  He's standing here talking to me as I am typing.

Anna

Hi Y'all,

Eleanore is doing much better today.  She was alert with her eyes open for most of the time from 9:30 until 12 noon today and again for an hour in the afternoon.  She reached out her good hand (left) for Daddy, and she was raising her head from the pillow and turning it to look at me.  The pillow was blocking her view.  I could have moved so she would have had an unobstructed view, but the exercise was good for her.  She did that about 10 times over the course of an hour, so she was remembering that I was there also.  At one point Daddy got curious and started opening the drawers next to her bed and she perked up and lifted her head and peered down to see what was there.  He closed it and she relaxed, and then a few minutes later he opened it again and she immediately lifted her head and looked again.  She followed his hand as he raised each of the different items and showed them to her.  I also told her that the more she moved her right leg (the affected one) the sooner she  would be walking again.  She then lifted that leg about an inch at the knee and flexed her foot.  Then she continued doing that over and over again for about an hour at perhaps one minute intervals.  She was remembering that, I wasn't telling her to do it each time.

We has a relatively short day today as Daddy asked to leave about 4:15.  He gets a little bored when she is sleeping deeply and he can't wake her, which he tries to do, mostly successfully. 

Well, time to make supper.  Once again thanks for all your prayers for her.  I will keep you posted. 

Love and thanks to all

Anna and Eddie

Subject:  List of Questions

Here is my list of questions that I started.  Let me know if you want me to ask anything else.

Questions for the Assisted Living Facility:

1). Is there a buy-in price for the facility?

2) Can they handle stroke victims?

3) Is there a problem with someone who is not able to walk and needs a wheelchair?

4) Is there an extra charge for Depends disposal?

5) If so how much?  per week? per month?

6) Does the facility buy them or do the residents purchase them?

7) Is there 24 hour nursing care available?  Is that extra if so?

8) Can they bring their own furniture or are they furnished or can they be furnished?

9) Do they accomidate special diets i.e. diabetic and low sodium?  Is there extra charge?

10) Is there an extra charge associated with the rehab? If so how much?

11) Are pets permitted to visit?

12) Can they have adult overnight guests?

13) Smoke detectors and sprinklers in the apartments?

14) Is there a code call cord or button?  In bedroom, bathroom, living room?

15) Is the facility accrediated?  If so whom?

16) Are there any inspection records that we can look at?

17) What is the general health of the residents?  Average age of residents?

18) Do they accept medicare?

19) What activites to they have for the residents?

20) Do you restrain any of residents, if so why and in what situations?

21) Do the residents provide bed linen and towels?

22) How many patients do the staff care for on a normal day?

23) How often do you check on the residents?

24) If my parents eventually need more than assisted living, do you have a higher level of care?

25) Do the apartments have locks?  If so how do staff enter in an emergency?

26) Does the limo provide transportation to shopping, church etc?  How far in advance do they need?

27) How does the laundry get done?  Are residents responsible for their own?

Mary

Subject:  RE:  Talk with Dr. V

Hey Y'all,

 I was wondering if Dr. V has talked to Dad about all this.  I feel that perhaps if Dr. V talked to Dad and told him it would be the best thing if they lived in assisted living and to perhaps move closer to family.  Dad may come to the decision on moving on his own.  I feel that, in order for him to cooperate and for him to feel that this is the best for him and his wife, he needs to be part of the decision-making and not be told what to do.  I know it may come to us doing what is best for them, but it would be much harder on him and mom if we had to step in and force them to move.

I know Dad respects him and I think that Dad may be a little leery of us trying to tell him what he needs to do.  I don't think that Dad could come anywhere without Mom.

I am going to start looking for a place that would work for them if they decided to move to Houston.  I guess if they wanted, they could stay in FL in assisted living, but it would be much harder.  I am also going to look to see what it would cost for Aunt Jay to live there too, if she wanted to move with them, but I doubt she would, but asking her is free.  I feel without Mom, Aunt Jay may be lost and I really don't know who she could trust with her banking if she stayed in FL.

Have a great day.

 Love, Mary

Hi Y'all,

Eleanore got out of the Open Heart ICU today.  They moved her to 3 West, room 312.  She will stay there at least until after the results of another CAT scan tomorrow.  When she is able they will move her to a skilled nursing unit (SKU) where she will get physical therapy.  She is still mostly sleeping, with brief times with her eyes open.  The nurses tell us that she is pretty alert first thing in the morning, but then the physical rehab technicians work with her for about 20 minutes and leave her sitting up in a large chair, and she is exhausted.  She then sleeps most of the day.  She can receive non-family visitors now, however, she's mostly asleep. 

I will keep you posted,

Love and thanks to all

Anna and Eddie

Hi all,  This is Tom

We saw Eleanore today in the morning and in the afternoon.  There is not much to say about the afternoon visit as she was sound asleep the whole time, but she was shifting around a little bit.

She seems to have four general states that we can tell.  Eyes open and responsive, Eyes closes and responsive, light sleep and deep sleep.  In the morning she was going from eyes closed to eyes open and responsive.  When her eyes are open she seems to aware of what is going on but is not able to communicate at all.  Today she was  really looking at Eddie and  cocking her head a little bit.  She also opened her mouth a few times like she was trying to talk but the tongue was not moving.  She was moving her left arm and left leg pretty often.  When she is laying down she can put her left leg up so that her foot is flat.

When the cardiologist came in Mom was moving her legs pretty well and the doc was impressed.  It seemed like she was trying hard to impress him.  As far as the heart goes the cardiologist says that she is ready to be going to the next level of care.  I think it is called acute care.

Ultimately she will have 10 days in a rehab unit in the hospital then she will have to go to a non-hospital affiliated one.  Anna and I went and saw three, two of which we got a tour of.  I think there will be some good choices for her.

Dad is doing well.  He stayed at Dottie and Franks while we were visiting and he continues to be good for us and he is showing a lot of concern for his bride.

Again, thanks for all your prayers and good wished.

Anna, Eddie, and Tom

Friday,  October 17, 2003

Hi Y'all,

Good news!  Today Eleanore opened her eyes!  She was responsive to simple commands, recognized Daddy, Tom, and myself.  She also got excited when Tom held a picture of his son Matt up in front of her, and she reached out and stroked the picture for several minutes.  From the time we got there at 10 am until we left at 1 pm, she was sitting up in an armchair and she was alternating between periods of what I'd call alert with eyes open and alert with eyes closed with brief periods of light sleep.    She also was moving her head around on her own while she was sitting, and several times she rested her chin in her left hand like you do sometimes.  She also rearranged her whole body and shifted it to another position in the chair at one point.  This afternoon when we visited between 4:30-6 pm she was mostly asleep laying down in her bed. 

They inserted the feeding tube into her stomach, and she was disconnected from all the IVs although they still have the ports in her neck for injection of medicines so they do not have to actually stick her each time they need to give her something.  The stomach feeding tube did not seem to be bothering her at all.  Her face was pretty relaxed and not tense like it was the first few days, when she looked very worried.  Her color is also good and about back to normal.

Take care and thanks so much for all your support and prayers.  I tell her every day that you all are praying for her, and she relaxes when I do.

Love,  Anna, Dad, and Tom

Sent: Wed 10/15/03  9:33 PM

Subject:  Tom is coming later today

Hi Y'all,

Tom just called and said he will be here this weekend as well as coming again next weekend for the following week.  He said "Why not?" and Mary Liz is insisting that he be there for his parents like he is insisting she be there for her father.  So he will arrive about 10 pm and is renting a car, which we can take back the next day.  I offered to pick him up, but he said he already paid for 24 hours and he figured I'd be bushed from the day already and didn't need to drive that late at night. 

Daddy is pleased he's coming.  I also told Daddy that Dolores and Bob, Bob and Judy, and Rita are going to all be coming to stay with him at different times as well as us until Mom is .... well, able to leave rehab hospital which will be a while.  I told him then after that maybe he and Mom might want to come to Houston for a while while Mom is getting better.  So he is ok tonight.  His eyes seem clear and not red for the first time since I've been here. 

Believe it or not, Daddy initiated a shower tonight.  I had decided that I wasn't going to mention it for tonight.  He wasn't that dirty and he could skip a night.  I didn't say a word, and he got up about 9 and said he was going to take a shower.  I heard the water running etc.  This was before I told him about the help the help from Dolores and Bob and Bob and Judy.  In fact Rita called while he was in the shower.  And Tom called after Rita. Jo, you are in charge of organizing the visitation schedule. 

So things are ok here.  Dad's legs are much better too.  I put more on this evening after his shower.  It turns out there were ants going right in front of his chair out in the garage, and I wonder if some were ant bites, but then again, that would have been an awful lot of ant bites.  I used a spray to kill those immediately.  Frank noticed them actually, and I also gave Frank and Dottie the extra garage door opener. 

Well, I'm going to bed now.  Lots of love and hugs, Anna

Sent:  Wed 10/15/03  7:26PM

Subject: Update on other things

Hi Sibs,

I arranged for the exterminator to do the inside on next Monday afternoon.  Then in about a month they will treat the outside.  The outside treatment will be repeated once every 3 months for a year (one inside and 4 outside treatments) for a total of $308.75.  If the large ants don't go away with the inside and first outside treatment, then they may have a nest in the attic, which will require a separate treatment of about $75.  The man said often times that separate treatment isn't needed.  The big ants are carpenter ants and they could have their main next in a tree or sometimes in landscaping timbers.  I paid for it out of my checking account as my "treat." 

The required termite treatment is separate and is scheduled for the 24th.

Dad's generally ok but worried.  He was aware of what the gastroenterologist was saying and asked a question, but I forget now what it was, but it was timely and a good one.  Oh, I know, it was would it hurt her?  They are just going to use a local.  He agreed it was a good idea and she would get better nutrition this way and it would be more comfortable than the nose tube.  He was able to sign the consent for just fine. 

Well, take care and I'll keep you all informed each day.  Many thanks to all of you for all your help.

Love and hugs, Anna

Subject:  Answer

Hi Anna,
       Got your e-mail this morning about helping out with your Dad. Judy and I have checked our schedule and we are available the week before Thanksgiving, Nov 15 thru the 22, or the week after Thanksgiving Nov 30 thru Dec 6. We can be available a day or two either side of these weeks. Let us know what's best for all of you so we don't make any new commitments during this time.

Love,

Judy and Bob

************************

Hi Judy and Bob,

That's great!  I'll let Joan coordinate visits.  Thanks so much for being available. 

Love and hugs,

Anna

Tuesday, October 14, 2003 

Hey Y'all, I really don't have good news at all today.  We saw a few of her doctors today and both of them indicated that she really had a large stroke.  It has affected all portions of her left brain.  They, and us, were all disappointed to hear that.  They really have no clue what her progress or outcome may be.  They say that all strokes are different and we have (at this time) no idea about Mom. 

Today she was not awake at all when we were there.  She did open her eyes 2 times today for the nurse as they transferred her to a chair and then back to the bed. She will squeeze your hand and she still moves her left leg, left arm and a little of the right leg.  But she was not awake at all for us. 

Today they had her in a really cool chair.  It makes a flat bed, then turns into a chair and they just slide her over into the chair.  Well, when she was in the chair, Dad was so cute, he was kissing the back of her neck  (her head was tilted foward and this is good, it streches the muscles and keeps her more limber).  Joan told dad, that he hasn't kissed her this much in the past ten years.  He also leans down and kisses her hand too. 

Oh, yea I forgot to tell you that we found out yesterday, they did not give her that clot busting drug, like we thought.  They said since she had the surgery so soon, they couldn't give that to her.  One of the doctors thinks that Mom had a bunch of plaque in one of the major arteries/veins that supply blood to the brain broke off and that is what caused the stroke, not a blood clot like they thought at first.  The doctor said that if she had developed an antibody to the heparin (by the way that test was negative and she did not develop that antibody), she would have had small stokes all over the brain and not on one side like she did. 

Well, this will be my last update and I am turning over the torch to Anna tomorrow.  I will fly back to Houston tomorrow and Joan will drive back to Atlanta. Love,  Anna, Joan, Dad and me 

Sunday the 12th 

Good Afternoon All, Well, today is sunday and I really don't have much to report on.  Mom still looks bad.  She is not moving her right hand at all and she still can't speak.  We stayed about 3 hours today and she was in a very very deep sleep. 

The doctor said she wouldn't classify it as a coma, but it is heavier than normal, but not as deep as a coma. The nurse reported to us that the neurologist told her this am, that if mom does her physical therapy, that we may not see much signs of the stroke, but she won't be 100% like before the stroke. 

I really don't know much to say today, she hasn't gotten any better, but she hasn't gotten any worse either.  She is stable.  It is really a setback for us.  The nurse said they would keep her there in the open heart ICU instead of transferring her to the regular ICU, but I guess that could change. 

Joan came back to be with us and to see mom.  I think she will stay till tuesday and I will leave on wednesday. Dad is very sad, but is very compationate to mom.  He strokes her head and her arm.  Then he leans down to kiss her forehead.  It is very special to see. Y'all take care and I will keep you posted. Love,  Mary

Tuesday October 7th  

Hey Everyone,  I just wanted to let everyone know about Mom. 

To make a very long story short, she went to surgery today and had a triple bypass.  I had no clue, but they can somehow go in with a lapriscope (sp?) and remove the veins from the legs, but they tried to do that on Mom, but they couldn't so as the nurse says, "they had to go in the old way" to get the veins. The short history of the surgery, is that after the caterization on Monday Oct 1, 2003, they found that  she had 99% blockage, 80% blockage in two arteries/veins.  The postponed her surgery until Monday the 6^th because of the high blood pressure.  They got her blood pressure down alright, one day it was 118/28 !!! Since the BP was down they were a go for that, but then her platelets (the blood clotting cell in your blood) was dropping.  So the doctor called in a Hematologist to look at the low platelet count. So they drew a bunch of blood on Sunday evening and told us they MAY NOT do the surgery on Monday.  The lab that they have to send it to, was closed on Sunday.  So we waited all day on Monday for the results of this  test.  Well at about 4 pm the test results came back negative (what the hematologist wanted) so all they had to do was get clearance from him and we were a go. 

So Dad, Joan and I went home about 6pm on  Monday. Mom called and told us they were prepping her for the surgery, so we thought it was a go for Tuesday at 6:30 am. The Surgeon told us to be there at 6am so we could see her before they took her.  Well none of us slept well and we were up at 3 am and got to the hospital at 5:30am.

The hematologist still had not cleared her for surgery!!!  So about 7:15am they came and took all of us to the pre-op area.  We had to wait till 8:45am until the hematologist cleared her. Mom went in to surgery at 8:45am and the surgeon came to see us at noon to tell us she was fine and he was finished with the by-pass.  It took them till 1:45pm to bring her to the ICU. 

We had to leave at 2 to take Joan to the airport.  Dad and I got back from the airport and saw Mom at 4 pm.  At that time she was awake, but had the respirator tube in her throat and she couldn't talk.  Her eyes looked bright and she was aware that we were there and talking to her.  She squeezed our hands.  The nurse said that she would have the breathing tube out this evening and be sitting up tomorrow.  Dad and I will see her at 11am and 4pm.I will let everyone know her status each evening that I am here. Thank you all for all the prayers, I know it helps, and keep her in your prayers for a speedy recovery.

Oh, and an update on Dad.  He is good.  He has been excellent for Joan and myself and is no trouble.  He has been very sad that Mom is in the hospital and he told Joan that his head hurt that she was sick.  He was upset when he saw her today and said "she doesn't look too good"  I explained that this is the worst and she will begin to look better and she is on the downward slope towards home.  He really misses her. I will sign off now, thanks for everything

Love Mary

Sent:    Friday, October 03, 2003 9:35 AM

Subject:            RE: Mom 

Mary, I talked to Mom and JO this morning.  Mom's blood pressure is fluxuating up and down (250-ish/158 - wouldn't someone be dead with a lower value of 158?), but it sounds like it was a couple faulty automatic BP machines, as when a nurse then took it manually it was 158/60-ish.  The 4th doc is a kidney specialist.  He saw her this morning, and says they will adjust her BP meds before the next dose.   

JO says the name of the adrenal gland hormone that controls potassium and sodium levels is aldesterone.  She requests a quick internet search, please.   Love ya, Anna

Sent:  THU 10/2/03  10:48 AM

Subject:  RE:  Mom, I made Some Reservations 

Hi,  I will have to work out some things here at work but I suspect that I will be able to come for a week. I will get see what I can arrange in the next few days. 

Love to all. Tom

Sent:  9/23/03  5:50 PM

Subject:  CatherizationH

i Y'all:  Once again the catherization I was to have on Sept 25 was canceled because the person responsible for scheduling the date and time of the procedure forgot to call the hospital and make the arrangements.  I went to the hospital for a pre-op registration and blood work todaybut on reviewing my data on the computer, the girl said I was canceled.  I told her that I was canceled for the Aug 22 procedure.  So - one thing another, they found out that the Cardiologist's office was at fault!  So the office scheduled me for Oct 1st, same time but I   don't have to wait to register as they did that today.  All I have to do on the 29th is go to the room where they take the blood samples, then on the 1st , go to the past of the hospital where they will do the catherization.  Twice postponed. Will the Oct 1st date be a lucky date?? 

Paula:  Your mom will leave as scheduled on the first.  I'll have someone get her to the airport.  Joanie will be trying to get an airline flight out late on the 30th.  Her school has a  mandatory order that teachers must be present for the parent/teacher's meetings, so she'll be late arriving in Orlando. 

Martha:  How are you feeling?  Better, I hope. Will keep in touch. 

All my love, Eleanore.

Mary L: Will keepyou all in our prayers.

Hi Everyone:  Thanks for your prayers and concerns about me.  I'll need them in about six weeks; that's when they will try the catherization again.  My Cardiologist and the Hematologist are working together to get my blood to the right level. 

Joan is flying in tomorrow; I'll pick her up.  She will only be staying until Sep 1st; Aunt Rita will be coming in on the 2nd.  Mary and Jerry came in on Thursday, the 21st and left after the good news about no Leukemia, and no scheduling until at least 6 weeks.  They did do a lot of things to help, such as minor things that had to be done but I could not do. 

Thanks kids, for everything.  Oh, they brought 2 dogs with them, which Dad and I enjoyed.   As for me, I feel fine; no aches or pains other than my back and knees - arthritis, I guess. 

Will keep you all informed of any changes.  All our love, M&D; Ellie and Eddie.

Sent:  Thu   8/7/03  4:28 PM

Subject:  RE:  Medical Update

Hi Everyone:  I read your messages - they are loud and clear.  I will adhere to the advice on the living wills.  I'm not ready to fold up right now.   Glad you Houstonites will be coming on Thursday the 21st. We will be happy to see all of you again.  Thanks a lot. I will consider the advice about someone coming in to clean every now and then. 

Dad still talks about you kids being there at the beach house how all of you girls are so beautiful and Tom and Jerry are so patient with the boys.  So, you see he still has some memory that he uses.  Thanks for the advice you guys have given me.   

Rita:  Thanks for the offer of coming.  I appreciate it very much.  Perhaps at another time I'll need your help, but since Anna, Mary and Jerry will be coming I'm all set for now.  I'll keep Jerry busy doing some chores. 

JO:  Thanks for considering coming around Labor Day if you can get away. 

Love to all, M&D, etc.

Sent:  Fri  8/2/03  10:26 AM

Subject:  Update Info

Hey Mary & JO:  Thanks, Mary, for the information on thosetests.  I must be a "weirdo"!!!  The doctors will have a time deciding what is really wrong with me, or it may not be so complicating of a deal!!!!  We'll wait and see.  The gal at the hospital did not give me ultrasound, just took 4 vials of blood; a pint, orange, I think a green and I think a red vial.  Maybe I'll have to go back for that ultrasound.  We'll see. OK, JO, I'll be there on or about 7:15 PM.  Have a safe trip.   All our love, M&D

Sent:  Tue   7/17/03   6:19 PM

Subject:  Black Cloud

Hi Everyone:  Sorry to hear all the bad happenings going onat the Davis'.  Here we thought Harley was getting alongjust fine!  Hope the medication works on her.  Guess youwill just have to wait and see.  What else could be donewith her.  No wonder the people wanted to get rid of her! 

Anna:  You'll just have to do what I do - make notes foryourself with appointment dates and times!  I can't remember so well anymore.  My refrigerator calendar is full of appointments - takes me a few minutes to clarify the date.   Mary and Jerry:  Am so sorry that the accident happened to your Dad.  I hope he is OK now and will be able to workafter a few days.  Also, we are sorry about the break-in toy our truck.  That's a lot of tools that were stolen.  Any clues as to who it was?  Were the police able to get any fingerprints?  Hope you will get some reimbursement back so you can get more tools to work with.   

On a happier note:  We are looking forward to our get-together in Alligator Point.    We are invited over to Rose and Norbert's home on the 4th.  I'm bringing dessert andsome rolls for the hamburger, and some salad.    Are   you having company on the 4th?   

Again I'm saying sorry about your misfortunes.  I'll keep youall in our prayers. 

How are you doing, Mary L?  I  hope you don't hurt too much anymore.  Take it easy for a while!!!!! 

Hey JO:  Glad you got back from Sarasota OK.  Too bad Candis got ill there.   

Hey Andy, Tom, and Matt.  Takecare of yourselves.  Will see you soon. 

Love, M&D;Busia and Dziadzi.  How's the new car working? 

Sent:  Tue  6/17/03 6:41 PM

Subject:  Summer Vacation

Hi Kids:  T&M:  Great; we'll be looking forward to your trip to our house on July l7th.  Thanks a lot.  For the rest of you guys, T, M, A, and M will joins us at the rental house. They are flying into Orlando on Thursday, Jul 17th.  Mary L will be coming in by herself at 9:30 and T, A, and M willarrive about 11 PM.  They could not get a flight out on Friday so Mary L will pick them up at the airport, as she will rent a car.  The Yankees will help me get things going and help pack the car.  Also, Tom will be able to see to Dad as to restroom facilities, etc.  They may not be able to spend the whole week, but at least they will be able to spend time with us. 

Anna:  We received your box today.  Dad was really thrilled with the Suburu race car.  Thanks.  Thanks also for the inflatable pillows you sent me. How's your left hand doing?  

How was your trip, JO?  I take it you got back OK?  Didyou have fun? 

Aunt Dol was in an auto accident last week.  She rammed into the car in front of her, not knowing the car had stopped.She called yesterday and said she was to have surgery on her right thumb today.  The left thumb was knocked out of place but at the ER they put it back in line and she has a type of splint on it.  The thumb they operated on today is on the same hand that she had broken several years ago when the family got together in Colorado.  (The same doctor is doing that thumb.) 

I take it Matt is still in school.  Andy, how was your first term, semester, or whatever at the University?  Did OK?Good for you!   

JO:  I looked through the garbage yesterday to see whether we accidentally through the shirt away which you said was with Dad's shorts.  I saved the envelope and looked in there alsobut the shirt was not in it.  Anyway, thanks, kids for the gifts you sent Dad. 

Tom:  I did not tell Dad what gift he had coming from you guys.  I thought he'd be surprised when he opened it.  Thanks.  (What did I press that made this type change to italics - anyone know? ) 

Mary Houston (as JO  would say), Anna and  JO, When you can, lets get together on who is bringing what to the rental house. 

All our love, M&D; Busia and Dziadzi.

Sent: Thu 6/5/03 6:21 PM

Subject: Grapefruit Tree

Hey to all:  Well, yesterday the grapefruit tree finally got cut down.  I was thinking about it for quite a while but never called anyone about it.  The decision was made for me when I went to pick up two plastic grocery bags of grapefruits that fell off the tree and some that were very over ripe, in fact rotten.  I  put the two bags by the end of the driveway for the garbage men to pick up on Tuesday.

When Dad came in the house, he said he gave Pete, the guy across our driveway the two bags of grapefruit.  I told him he gave away OUR garbage!!  I call them to tell them that they were not good, to put them back on our side for the garbage men. I then decided it was time to call the tree guy and have them cut it down.  I then picked some good ones from the tree and took it over to them before the tree was cut down the next day.  I  know Dad was trying to be neighborly but he was not thinking that I also put the rotten ones in with the ones that had just fallen off the tree. Well, now I wont have to worry about grapefruits!. 

Bye for now.  Will write later.  PS:  Had another holter heart monitor put on yesterday and taken off about ten AM today.  No results known from any of the tests I had done.

Will keep you informed. 

Love, M&D; Busia and Dziadzi

Sent:    THU 5/22/03 12:53 PMSubject:  Dr. V’s Visit

Hi Kids:  Well, I went to Dr V's office today.  The test was a resting test.  The male technician gave me a shot ofsomething in my arm and then told me to drink at least wo cups of water and wait about 45 min. for the medicationto go through my blood stream.  He then called me in again and put me on a narrow table and explained that a biground thing would rotate around my upper body every 12-15 seconds until it reaches my left side.  Then a nurse took my blood pressure (160/72) and put on a heart monitor that I have to wear for 24 hours.  I go back tomorrow for a tread mill test.  I told the nurse that I don't know if I could do it with my bad knee, hip and back.  She said they can do a chemical test.  I go for that at 10 A.M.  I have to fast again but to take my medication.  Will keep you informed. 

Matt:  Happy Birthday.  Today you are 8 years old!  Gee how time flies.  Your are getting to be a big boy now.  Howmany more days of school do you have until you get a summer vacation?   

Andy:  Are you home from U of C   yet?  How did you make out with your subjects? 

Mary D:  I just found a size 34 bra in one of the drawers in the spare bedroom.  I found it after A. Dol and U. Bob leftand thought it was hers.  I wrote her about it but she did not answer me as yet.  Then I figured it may be yours.  There was also a pair of peds in the drawer.  If it's yours, I'll mail them to you or give it to you in July at Alligator Point. Will close for now. 

JO:  Today Melanie is graduating from Grade school but we are not going, as it will be in theevening and will be late by the time we start going home.  I don't care to drive very far at night, and besides, I have this monitor on.  I have to be careful not to pull any wires off. God bless all of you, M&D; Busia and Dziadzi.