It all started when I was 16 years old. I lived in Poland, and I used to have a group of friends with whom I was close. One day, they just started talking to me less than usual, and then they stopped asking me to go out with them. I felt really alone, and I spent most of my summer at home, wondering about what I might have done wrong. I was really hurt because I thought that I had finally found real friends, but they turned out not to be. But I said to myself that I was not going to cry and I would be brave.<\/p>\n
A few weeks before that, I had my birthday and got a book about practicing yoga. When my friends left me, I had a lot of time, so I decided to try it, just to kill time and do something nice for myself. I started to practice yoga, and I was also focusing on myself more than ever before. I started to meditate a little bit and practice concentration. I begin to wish and visualize. I saw that everything I had wished for was coming true! I felt the power to do anything in my life; I felt like some kind of magic was around me, and I could actually control that. I felt special and blessed. I was thinking, “I want my hair to be soft and silky,” “I want people to like me and see my personality,” and “I want to be happy.” I also started to be thankful. Every day I woke up, and I said to myself how grateful I was that I could wake up in the warm house, having both of my parents, have feet so I could touch the ground, legs so I could walk, and I’m a healthy young person who has such a beautiful opportunity to live and to breathe.<\/p>\n
At that time, I was going to a new school, and I didn’t know anyone there. I was a little bit scared, but I was thinking positively and telling myself that I was strong and I could do it. So, as I had wished, after a few weeks at the new school, I made a lot of friends. Everyone liked me, and they complimented me a lot about my hair! They all seemed to love me as much as I loved them. I was meeting new people, and at that time, I felt really happy and blessed. It was like a dream.<\/p>\n
I also always wanted to live in the big city that never sleeps. Full of energy and people from different countries. I was dreaming so much. I imagined myself living that life. And after a few months, my uncle convinced my parents to move to New York City! I was so excited. But also I was scared. I didn’t know English and had just found lovely friends with tremendous positive energy. I was afraid that I would not find those same kinds of friends in the US, but I would give it a try.<\/p>\n
We moved to NY, and everything was so new. I was really happy at first. When I went to school, I was doing great with English. I got a boyfriend, and I was still thinking positively. But then, something changed. Everything became so hard, and I lost my hope. I got a friend who, after being so nice to me, started to be mean and toxic. My boyfriend was making me cry, and we were fighting a lot. Also, the situation at home was tense; my parents were really worried about money, my brother was depressed, and we were living in a really small apartment where we had almost no privacy. I was crying at night, wishing to be back in my country, in my home, where I felt safe.<\/p>\n
Then, my parents found a bigger apartment, and we moved to another place. I felt kind of better. I also cut off contact with my toxic friend, but again, I felt alone. I was still fighting with my boyfriend, and everything was getting harder.<\/p>\n